What I've Learned #238: Don't Force Your Passion to Pay the Bills

“Follow your Bliss”
“Follow Your Heart”
“Live Your Passion”

Do you read that kind of stuff and think, “Yeah, right. And then I’ll be living on the streets, smelling like piss and indian food while begging for spare change.”

Most of the clients I see are “waking up” to a new possibility. What does that mean? Well, it means they see that their lives could be much different. Instead of merely holding down their shitball job and paying the bills, they could live a life that invigorates them and infuses their actions with meaning.

Most of us are too ignorant to challenge the status quo of driving a metal coffin to an office everyday, performing tasks over and over, tolerating d-bag after d-bag all so we can get two weeks off a year. To do what? Clean out the garage?

It’s a big leap.

But, once a guy realizes there’s more to offer in this lifetime, usually the first thing to hit the chopping block is his job. Reasonable enough, right?

The second thing he wants to do is have his newly revealed passion (teaching, bass fishing, cabinet repair, curing cancer, coaching little league, whatever) be THE thing that pays his bills.

Pause.

I don’t know where it was written, but for some reason we’ve got this script that our passion/purpose has to fund our passion/purpose/lifestyle.

It does not HAVE to.

For some it works out great, and I highly recommend investigating that possibility. But for most, it’s not really feasible and somewhere along the way a soul gets crushed. A dream gets dashed.

This is limiting thinking. It doesn’t need to be this way.

Try this on:

(1) Get Clear: Get clear about what it is you’re passionate about. What do you want to do *as* this person you’re living in this lifetime? What wants to be expressed *as* you? If you don’t know, perhaps that could become your purpose.

(2) Zoom out: Consider how everything in your life supports this. Does your partner support this? Does your job support this? Your location? Your body? Your friends and family? Your habits? How does everything in your life contribute to or diminish your pursuit?

(3) Course Correct: Make a list of stuff to change. Create a vision where all of your people, places and actions are contributing to your passion/purpose. And yes, if that job sucks the marrow of life from your bones, then by all means find an alternative.

Note: Nothing in there said you HAD to quit your day job and make your passion your main source of income. Many times a guy “leaves it all behind” to set off on a new course only to find that he’s ill-equipped. The pressures of this new scenario cripple him -- they diminish his ability to pursue this dream or passion. Although this scenario makes for good TV, it’s usually ungrounded and typically uninspiring.

I’ve seen it quite a few times -- especially in the music industry -- where financial scarcity interfered in the creative process and screwed the pooch. The impact was more stress and less fulfillment even though on the surface a guy was “living the dream” like some kind of martyr.

(Consider Mike Rowe’s Dirty Job reflections in this video. I think he’s mistakenly limited it to an either/or scenario. I’m proposing a both/and scenario.)

Like I said, some people thrive with that pressure/influence and some don’t.

I don’t.

Case in point: I was 22 years old and very passionate about my music career. I was also clear that I did NOT want to live in a van eating gas station food for the next ten years trying to “make it”. I knew I wanted to make records on my own terms and I knew I could spend more of my time doing what I actually loved instead of reflexively chasing the dream.

Video editing was a craft that I loved doing and was a means for me to have a flexible schedule while making some good money. It also kept me around studios and musicians. It contributed to my love of creating music. The work itself did not “kill me”. I had energy left over to be creative musically. And most importantly, for me, the financial strain was gone which kept me in a very creative place.

This scenario worked for me. It supported and contributed to a very creative and prolific time of my life, and my relationship to my video business was positive because I knew it directly impacted what I was most passionate about -- the music.

Video editing was not a job. It was the means to be a creative and free artist.

So, if you’re on the path to creating more purpose and meaning in your life, watch out for any pitfalls that have you believing you need to jump ship financially before you can follow your dream. It’s bullshit. If it doesn’t fit, don’t force your passion to pay the bills. Get creative and challenge what is possible. Be willing to challenge everything and everyone in your life -- most importantly those limiting thoughts. Don’t make it an either/or proposition.

This is where a coach can help. :-)

Good luck.

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