Dan Millman, Peaceful Warrior Author, Interviewed on The New Man Podcast

12/22/2009 10:56 AM

Dan Millman, legendary author of The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, is on The New Man Podcast this week. Dan seriously delivers the goods -- practical, useful stuff for every guy out there who wants to be the best he can be.

Click here to listen.

3mistakesbox

Tapping on your face is the new therapy? Are you f'in kidding me?

12/08/2009 10:38 AM

How are your unconscious beliefs holding you back?

Do you think that healing an emotional wound needs to take a lot of time or energy?

And how can tapping on your face possibly help you gain financial abundance?

This is the first in a series of shows I’m calling “Are you freakin kidding me?”. In this episode, we explore the strange facial tapping of the emotional freedom technique or EFT. Is this a crock of new age crap or could EFT help you be a better man?

In this episode:

Why should you care about EFT?
How can tapping on your face can help you make bank?
What the hell is EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique?
How are your emotions connected to that stiff back or upset stomach?
How are your limiting beliefs and self-destructive patterns actually helping you?

Click here to listen now.

3mistakesbox

AJ Jacobs: What if YOUR Life Was an Experiment?

12/02/2009 10:55 AM

What can YOU learn from a guy who lived the bible to its word for a year and THEN pretended to be hot girl online?

What if you never held back — you always SAID exactly what you were thinking?

And why should you — a grown man — considering taking a seat when you take a piss?

This week, author and human guinea pig AJ Jacobs is here to share what he’s learned from living life as an experiment.

AJ Jacobs is the Editor at Large for Esquire Magazine and the author of several best selling books including, “The Guinea Pig Diaries,” “The Year of Living Biblically” and “The Know-It-All.”

Click here to listen now.

In this episode:

What is it like to be a hot chick?
What if you said EVERYTHING that crossed your mind to others?
What is it like to be totally whipped?
Should you piss sitting down?
How does your behavior change your thoughts?
What does George Washington have to do with your penis?
What’s one, simple practice that’ll make a huge improvement in your life?

Click here to listen now.

The New Man Podcast: What is a Men's Group and Why Should You Care?

11/10/2009 10:44 AM

Are you one of those guys who -- deep down -- is wondering, “What in the hell am I doing with my life?”

When you get in the weeds, do you tend to isolate like a wounded animal?

And how likely are you to really follow through on all of those goals?

This week Revolutionary Man, Jayson Gaddis and I dive into a solution for any guy who has ever felt stuck, isolated and unable to follow through. We’re talking about men’s groups.

We’re excited to tell you about the benefits of participating in a men’s group as well as a killer new offer from http://www.mensgroup101.com/thenewman.

In this episode:

What is a men’s group?
What is it not?
Why should you care?
How would you know if a men’s group could benefit you?
How are most guys screwing up?
How are some guys like walking tea kettles?
What does this have to do with a fear of failure?
How do truly successful guys utilize the power of others?
What’s available at http://www.mensgroup101.com/thenewman

How to Keep Your Fitness Practice from Becoming Another "Should"

11/02/2009 10:35 AM

I had this email exchange with a New Man Podcast listener this morning. He recently viewed the free video available on TrippLanier.com and wanted to know how he could keep his fitness practice from becoming another "should" or burden. As in, "I should work out today but I freakin' hate it and I only do it because I'm supposed to -- not because I'm inspired to."

Check it out and let me know if this resonates with you.

Listener writes:
"Thanks for the video. It was helpful, particularly about being in your body during a workout and hav(ing) no distractions. Question. Working out is a health need for me and is a 'should do' (even a 'must do'), not a natural 'want to do'. How do I retain exercise without violating your advice for Problem #1?"

My response:
Great question! I've found that when we take a chance to connect with what really matters in our life, it's not too far of a hop to realize that without a strong, vital body we won't be able to live/experience/enjoy what really matters.

So, ask yourself "What really matters to me?" (or whatever version of that question resonates for you) and then connect your physical practice to that.

For example -- I want to be an amazing father/husband/friend AND have the energy and vitality to create more possibilities for myself and others. THIS is what has me do some form of physical practice each day. If my body is a liability then it holds me back from living my best life. I want to have an abundance of strength and energy available.

Make sense?

Thanks for the great question,
Tripp

Tell me what you think.

3mistakesbox

How to Make the Most of Your Online Dating Profile

10/27/2009 11:25 AM

The New Man Episode 082: Siona Van Dijk - How to Use an Online Dating Site

Are you one of the millions of men who are looking to find that special someone?

Are you quietly using or considering an online dating website?

And if so, how is your online profile already screwing up your chance to meet Mrs Right?

This week, Siona Van Dijk from the online dating site, Gaia Soulmates is here to help you avoid looking like a tool while making the most of your online dating efforts.

So many men (and women) are screwing up their chances for finding a partner just by falling into a few potholes in their profile. In this show, Siona Van Dijk walks us through some of these danger zones and helps you get the most of your online dating experience.

Click here to listen

In this episode:

How do you get the most out of an online dating site?
Is there a stigma around online dating?
How are dating sites different from Facebook and other community sites?
How are guys screwing up their profiles?
How is your profile perceived by your potential partner?
How long should you plan to be on an online dating site?
How can you create a unique and authentic profile?
How to move the online interaction into a face to face date?
How many dates should you go on?
What’s more important -- shared values or shared interests?
Where online can you find women with depth and consciousness?
Visit http://soulmates.gaia.com/

Click here to listen

3mistakesbox

Tripp's Nitro Salad Recipe and Great Butts

10/22/2009 04:27 PM

This salad is the equivalent of a Reef Calendar Girl Booty. For me, at least.
(If you're wondering if that is sexist or in any way an objectification of women -- it is. Flame away, but I recommend you take a few moments to just bask in the glory of those butts!)

I've been knocking down these salads at least once a day for the last few weeks. I love 'em. Like really love 'em. Like almost wanna get sexual kinda love 'em. I've even managed to lose an inch or so around the waist. Seriously.

Here you go. The recipe for Tripp's Nitro Salad. (First, take a second to chuckle at that ridiculous name. I like the idea of a salad with machismo and a dash of daring.)

Ingredients (use organic whenever possible):
1/3 pound of ground buffalo
A few handfuls of raw spinach (Don't go too crazy here. This isn't all about the green, leafy stuff)
A big handful of walnuts
Some bleu cheese crumbles (Upon death, I plan to be buried in casket of bleu cheese and shot into space)
An entire apple
An entire avocado (take out the wooden-lookin' thing, silly)
4 or 5 cherry tomatoes
Balsamic Vinaigratte Dressing

Instructions:
Get yourself a big ass bowl (BAB) and throw the spinach in there. Chop up the apple, tomatoes and avocado. Throw it in the BAB. Cook up the buffalo as you would if it were a burger. When it's ready, throw it in the BAB along with the walnuts. Sprinkle the bleu cheese in as you thank god for inventing bleu cheese and Reef Girl Calendars (which, BTW I don't own one yet -- my birthday is coming up. Hint, hint) Top it off with the dressing and cut it all up. Mix it up real good, yo.

Sit back and enjoy. You'll be satisfied for hours.

Let me know what you think.

3mistakesbox

Join Stuart Davis, Tripp Lanier and Jun Po Denis Kelly at Dharmapalooza

10/16/2009 12:25 PM

This is from my buddy, Stuart Davis regarding his awesome yearly event, Dharmapalooza featuring Jun Po Denis Kelly (you remember him -- he's the Zen badass that hit me with a stick).

Read Stu's post below:

Join Tripp Lanier and Stuart Davis for Dharmapalooza 2009!

Join us November 13, 14, and 15 in beautiful Boulder Colorado for this once-in-a-lifetime experience. This intimate, powerful three day event includes a one day intensive with Zen Master Junpo Roshi, an exclusive VIP concert from Stuart Davis, group dinners and cocktail parties, and an extra-exclusive gift bag full of rarities and treasures. This promises to be the best Dharmapalooza yet, and availability is VERY LIMITED. There are 100 spots available, and that is a drop-dead cut off. I like to keep these events small and potent, so reserve immediately to ensure your spot.

You will be hosted and loved-up by Dharmapalooza founder Stuart Davis, and given a Kosmic encounter with your own Nature by Zen Master Junpo Roshi. Expect to party, meditate, Wake Up, laugh, make lots of incredible new friends, and bask in the beauty of one of America's most amazing cities, Boulder, Colorado.

Your $199 NON-refundable reservation includes:

*Your admission to three days of events Fri Nov. 13th, Sat Nov. 14th, and Sun Nov. 15th
*A limited edition CD of the Stuart Davis concert you will be attending (your own private album)
*A limited edition Dharmapalooza T-shirt
*An original Stuart Davis calligraphy painting (featuring your name if you like)
*A signed copy of Stuart's CD Something Simple
*A signed copy of Stuart's Silver / Self-Titled
*A signed copy of Stuart's Bell CD
*Volume 1 & 2 of Stu's Between The Music DVD set

You are responsible for the cost of your travel, lodging, and meals.

Special, featured guests at this event will include Vince Horn from Buddhist Geeks podcast.

Your weekend of Spiritual Saturnalia will flow as follows:
Friday Nov 13th:
4:30pm Check In At
1434 Spruce St
Boulder, CO 80302-4827
(303) 444-0190
http://www.boulder.shambhala.org/
Boulder Shambhala Main Shrine Room
5pm Welcome & introduction by Stuart Davis
5:15 Meditation
6:00 Talk with Zen Master Junpo Roshi
7:00 Dinner & Cocktail Party at Himalayas Restaurant
2010 14th Street
Boulder, CO 80302
303.442.3230

Saturday Nov 14th
9:30am Check In at Boulder Integral
2805 N Broadway St
Boulder, CO 80304
(303) 541-1540

10 AM Morning meditation with Junpo Roshi
11 AM Day long intensive with Zen Master Junpo Roshi
1PM Lunch
2PM Afternoon session with Junpo Roshi
6PM Dinner (on your own)

7:30 Check In Immersive Studios
3063 Sterling Cir
Boulder, CO 80301
(303) 413-1131

8PM Concert and spoken word comedy with Stuart Davis @ Immersive Studios
10PM-12AM Dance, party, & mingle Bodhisattvas!

Sunday Nov 15th
9:30 Check In Boulder Integral
10AM Morning Meditation
11AM Buddhist Geeks Round table discussion, interactive with Audience
1PM Lunch & Goodbye

JunPo Roshi received his Zen Masters recognition in 1992. He was Vice Abbot and head monk as well as resident yoga teacher at Dai Bosatsu Zendo Kong Ji in the Catskill Mountains in New York state from 1987 through 1993. His Inka Zen lineage is in the Rinzai tradition, through Eido Shimano Roshi of the The Zen Studies Society. His yoga lineage is that of BKS Iyengar and Patabi Jois. Jun Po has been practicing, studying and teaching Zen and Yoga for over twenty-five years.

Stuart Davis is a mutli-media artist and creator of Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll, a comedic television series airing in the US and Canada.

You may reserve your spot at Dharmapalooza by clicking on the button below and paying through Pay Pal using any major credit card or bank account. Reservations are $199 and are NON-refundable. This event will sell out, so make your reservation immediately. Reservations are first-come-first reserve, and when it's full, it's full. You will have a blast and leave with your Lamp all Lit Up.

For more information, or to request to pay by check, email me (Stuart Davis) directly at TwistedMystic @ gmail.com

3mistakesbox

Revolutionary Man Leadership Training

10/15/2009 01:37 PM

This is from Revolutionary Man, Jayson Gaddis. He runs programs for guys who kinda fit into the "special ops" category. Intense stuff.

Check it out...

http://www.revolutionaryman.com/rmlt.html

My friend Jayson Gaddis runs a cool company "Revolutionary Man" designed to help evolving men step into their greatness and make a difference in the World.

He's running an awesome leadership training for 16 guys that starts in January. If you're into the "special ops" kinda think, then I think it might be a good fit for you.

You only have 2 weeks to apply before the price goes up. It sounds awesome. At the very least, check it out.

Here's the link:

http://www.revolutionaryman.com/rmlt.html

3mistakesbox

Darren King Crowd Surfs on Drum -- Video from MuteMath Show in Denver 10/14/09

10/15/2009 01:12 PM

Had a blast at last night's MuteMath concert. Shot a little bit of the controlled chaos at the end of the show when drummer, Darren King crowd-surfed atop a kick drum. Check it out.

MuteMath Armistice Tour Denver, Colorado 10/14/09

Capitalism with Heart? Are you kidding? Derek Sivers on The New Man

10/13/2009 11:56 AM

Are you one of those guys who seems to get paralyzed in the process of starting something new?

Do you think you need a bunch of training or preparation before you can take action?

And what is the one single practice that will change how you experience everything in your life?

This week, we’ve got Derek Sivers on the show to talk about The Tao of Business and how any situation in your life can become a positive one.

Click here to listen.

In this day and age of corrupt capitalists, CDBaby founder Derek Sivers shows us how you can build a multimillion dollar company just by focusing on helping others. In this episode, Derek reveals the Tao of Business and how just trying to make money usually delivers the opposite.

In this show:

What is the Tao of Business and how can it help you even if you don’t own a business?
Do you need an MBA or a bunch of training to run a business?
How can learning too much be harmful?
How does personal development influence how you earn a living?
What is the practice Derek uses to turn *everything* into a positive experience?
If you’re prone to take things seriously, how can you learn to be more playful and creative with your life?
What’s the simplest way to build a solid business in a very short period of time?
How did the Segway inventor screw up royally and what can you learn from this?
Visit Derek Sivers online: http://sivers.org

Click here to listen.

3mistakesbox

The New Man Monthly Update - October

10/07/2009 06:24 PM

Hello!

I hope you’re doing well. October is here and it’s
time for a quick monthly rundown of all things
pertaining to The New Man.

------------------------
B I G
N E W S
------------------------

First off, the big elephant in the room is that I’m
going to be a Dad! My wife, Alyson and I are
expecting our first child in February. Needless to
say this has put a fire under my ass.

Since I learned about the bean in the belly, I’ve been
on a creative rocket. Stay tuned for some killer stuff.

------------------------
R E C E N T
S H O W S
------------------------

In case you missed the memo, The New Man
Podcast is now coming out every OTHER week.
That said, here are the shows that premiered recently:

How to Wire Your Brain for Success and Positivity Part 1
Philosopher’s Notes badass Brian Johnson and I dive into
Positive Psychology and why it matters to you.
http://www.tripplanier.com/blog_files/pos-psych-1.html

How to Wire Your Brain for Success and Positivity Part 2
The second episode of Brian Johnson discussing the practical
goodies of Positive Psych.
http://www.tripplanier.com/blog_files/pos-psych-2.html

How to Handle a Breakup or Loss
I’ve gotten a TON of responses on this one. Big show. An instant classic.
http://www.tripplanier.com/blog_files/breakup-loss.html

------------------------
U P C O M I N G
S H O W S
------------------------

I’ve got an interview with the extraordinary entrepreneur
Derek Sivers about how procrastination kills your dreams,
Siona Van Dijk on how to get the most out of online dating
services and Jayson Gaddis and I will take a deeper
dive into men’s groups.

Make sure you hit the “Refresh” button in iTunes to keep your
podcasts up to date.

------------------------
S O M E T H I N G
I S
B R E W I N G
------------------------

Like I said, I’ve been on a creative blast lately, and in a few
weeks you’ll be hearing about an offering from The New
Man to help you take what you’re hearing on the shows
and put it into action.

I know most of you can’t afford coaching packages, so I’ve
created something that is so ridiculously valuable at a
ridiculously affordable price.

I want to help you guys get the most from the show.

Talk is cheap, let’s take action.

Stay tuned!!!

------------------------
F R E E
T E L E S E M I N A R
------------------------

In case you missed the last email, Revolutionary Man
Jayson Gaddis and I have been invited to teach
alongside some serious heavyweights as part of
“MaestroMonth”.

Our free teleseminar entitled "Relationships with Heart:
Dating for Evolving Men" takes place on October 20th,
3:30pm PT.

This is a great deal for you because you can
sign up for 3 Free classes from such teachers as
Deepak Chopra, Dan Millman and T. Harv Eker. You can
go buckwild and attend all of them for only $1.

There are classes on all areas of life so be sure to check
it out here:
http://maestromonth.com/engage/TrippLanierJaysonGaddis

------------------------
M E N ‘ S
G R O U P
O F F E R I N G
------------------------

If you’re one of those guys that emails me every week wondering
how you can find or start a men’s group (there’s a lot of you),
fret no more. Jayson Gaddis and I are putting the final touches
on a course/kit that will have you up and running in no time.

If you want more info, make sure you’re signed up for
my emails here:
http://www.tripplanier.com/newsletter.html

------------------------
T H E
N E W
M A N
I N
G E R M A N ?
------------------------

I was recently interviewed for the german-speaking podcast,
Mann-Sein. Good thing they let me do it in English. You can
listen to this fun and quick talk here:
http://www.tripplanier.com/blog_files/tripp-mann-sein.html

------------------------
S T A Y
U P
T O
D A T E
------------------------

Become a Fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheNewManPodcast
Email: http://www.tripplanier.com/newsletter.html

------------------------
T H A T ‘ S
I T
F O R
N O W
------------------------

Thanks for your emails, suggestions and feedback. And as always,
Thank you for listening to and supporting The New Man.

Tripp Lanier

3mistakesbox

Conscious Dating/Relationship Teleseminar with Tripp Lanier and Jayson Gaddis

10/07/2009 06:18 PM

I’m super excited to invite you to my unique, free teleseminar entitled "Relationships with Heart: Dating for Evolving Men" on October 20th, 3:30pm PT.

Ready to go the next level as a confident and conscious man in relationship? Tired of "dating tricks" and unsatisfying relationship patterns? In this powerful workshop, discover the keys to creating REAL connection with women. Learn how to navigate common relationship "potholes". Begin to unblock old viewpoints and beliefs that keep you stuck, isolated or frustrated. Explore how to attract supportive, available, independent women. (Hint: It starts with creating your own ideal life!)

I will be co-leading this course with Revolutionary Man creator and New Man Podcast guest, Jayson Gaddis.

This is freakin’ huge!

We are presenting alongside Deepak Chopra, T.Harv Ecker and Dan Millman!

If you’re a guy looking for the keys to creating REAL connection with women or how to navigate common relationship “potholes”, you will not want to miss this call.

Register Now

Our teleseminar is one of more than 80 trainings during MaestroMonth – a truly amazing offering in October from world-class leaders!

The trainings in health, personal growth, business, spirituality and societal change feature more than a dozen NY Times bestselling authors, all helping you to unleash your full potential. I'm excited to be part of this group and to introduce you to more of their work.

Find out more

This is not your run of the mill teleseminar. Nope. The calls offer not only valuable content but also a fully interactive experience on MaestroConference, a new technology that allows you to engage with me and the other participants as if we're in a live workshop with breakout groups and more.

Register Now to gain access to my teleconference and up to two other free calls during MaestroMonth. You can also participate in as many calls as you like with a $1 trial membership. In addition, there are eight free gifts from participants and sponsors.

Maestro Month features the following teachers:

Health: Deepak Chopra, John Gray, Candace Pert, Olivia Newton John & John Easterling, Judith Orloff, Joan Borysenko, Norman Shealy, Eric Pearl, Len Saputo, Mary Shomon, Jennifer MacLean, Lee Gerdes, Mona Lisa Schulz

Personal Growth: Debbie & Arielle Ford, Dan Millman, John Assaraf, Hale Dwoskin, Vishen Lakhaini, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dave Ellis, Brian Johnson, Mike Robbins, Tripp Lanier & Jayson Gaddis, Zen DeBrucke, Amy Ahlers

Business: T. Harv Eker, Michael Port, Robin Sharma, Lance Secretan, Chip Conley, Ray Blanchard, Jeff Hoffman, David Finkel, Lynne Twist, Mari Smith, DC Cordova, Cynthia Kersey, Charlotte & Laura Shelton, James Malinchak, Bettie Spruill, Rinaldo Brutoco

Spirituality: Marianne Williamson, Michael Bernard Beckwith, Andrew Cohen, James Twyman, Genpo Roshi, Andrew Harvey, Carter Phipps, Lisa Schrader, Paul & Patty Richards, Ron Alexander, Lauren Mackler, Paul Hoffman, Ellen Debenport, Nicole Daedone, Stephen Dinan & Devaa Haley Mitchell

Societal Change: Gregg Braden, Seane Corn, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Jean Houston, Starhawk, Aqeela Sherrils, Azim Khamisa, Steve Bhaerman, Fred Johnson, David Cooperrider, Anodea Judith, Lynne McMullen, Richard Rudd, Miki Kashtan, Stacey Lawson

Special track for Entrepreneurs: Sharon Drew Morgen, Morgana Rae, Ken Foster, Leesa Barnes, Garrett Sutton, Larry Ousley, James Burgin & John Ward, Steve Maxwell, Leslie Grossman, Brian Burt, Dave Buck

Special series for Facilitators: Harrison Owen, Juanita Brown & Nicole Boyer, David Isaacs, Diana Whitney, Christine Whitney Sanchez

Campaign Sponsors: Gaia Soulmates, Unity, EnlightenNext

Find out more
3mistakesbox

How to Handle a Breakup or Loss

09/29/2009 12:09 PM

The New Man Episode 80: How to Handle a Breakup or Loss is now available.

How do you handle a breakup or the loss of something big in your life?

Do you “man up” and act like nothing’s wrong, go numb or collapse into a pitiful pity party?

And how can you keep this loss from festering and infecting your future relationships?

This week we’re talking about breakups and loss. Listen in as Reuvain Bacal and I lay out some options to help you get through the tough times and come out a stronger man.

This is an extra special episode. We’ve had tons of requests to dive into this topic so we spent the extra time delivering even more helpful information that you can use today.

Click here to listen now.

In this episode:

Why do men have a tendency to isolate when they struggle?
Should a guy just “get back on the horse” or “spend some time alone”?
How can a bad breakup infect future interactions with women?
Why do we idealize our partner after they’re gone?
How does stress from the breakup or loss ravage your body?
Why is acting like a tough guy actually a sign of weakness?
How to avoid collapsing into your own self pity?
How do you work with intense emotions and confusion?
What can you do to help the recovery process move along quicker?
When is it okay to get back into dating?
How can breakups be a catalyst for getting your life on track?
When is it time to get professional help?

Click here to listen now.

3mistakesbox

Vidyuddeva and Marc Gafni offer you The Dragon's Den

09/23/2009 09:12 AM

Here's an interesting opportunity to hang with Vidyuddeva and the controversial Marc Gafni... -- Tripp

Male Sexuality & The Masculine Invitation Evolving Spirit Through Man’s Embodied Form
with Dr. Marc Gafni & Vidyuddeva
November 13th - 15th Salt Lake City, Utah
Click here to register and for more information

Join us in creating the Evolutionary Integral Masculine...

Join us for this 3-day weekend retreat at a beautiful, green-built, urban retreat center in Utah as Dragon’s Den begins its 2 year evolution of what it means to be a man in our postmodern world. Spiritual artist and teacher Dr. Rabbi Marc Gafni and his team of evolutionary teachers lead an exploration to find your cutting edge in body, mind and spirit through your masculine form. Discover how to hold your masculine power. Learn how to deepen, expand and deploy this power as the highest expression of your Authentic Divine Self. Navigate the unique demands of your life in an integral community of like-minded evolutionary men. Step into your greater wisdom, lead from a greater perspective and discover how your sexuality is essential to your purpose in the world.

During our 3-day retreat you will:

→ Understand the 5 core characteristics of the Masculine Sexual Self
→ Dive into the 5 dimensions of the Feminine Sexual Essence
→ Gain integrated practices for working with Pain, Intimacy and Love
→ Learn the 3 most potent practices to cultivate your Masculine Power
→ Embody the new Emerging Masculine Identity for the 21st Century

What is the Dragon's Den?

Are you the evolution of man unfolding right now? Are you the embodiment of your fullest expression of what it means to be a man? Do you know your most fundamental freedom or are you living your life with less?

Dragon's Den is a first-of-its-kind Men's Integral Practice Community committed to the evolution of masculine leadership and consciousness. This is not another fad to come and go, it's not another attempt to recapture a myth about what it means to be a man nor is it just another way to think about manhood. Dragon's Den is a vehicle to transform the very fabric of your life and how you enact your purpose, your strength and your passion as you shift mere fate into the destiny of your life.

Dragon's Den brings the highest level teachings through the most comprehensive frameworks currently available. The Den isn't just a one way street though. You don't just come and passively learn. Men around the world, our integral practice community and our teachers are not only invested in supporting the leading instruction on men's issues but are equally invested in discovering and clarifying the unknown emerging edge of manhood. Your unique participation and leadership is required to move men and women forward into our greater sense of beauty, truth and goodness.

Gafni
Dr. Marc Gafni is the co-founder of iEvolve: Global Practice Community (Co-founded with Diane Musho Hamilton, Sally Kempton- Durgananda and Sofia Diaz, and Executive Director Kelly Sosan Bearer), as well as the Director and a Fellow at the Integral Life Spiritual Center of Integral Life. Marc is The Teacher in Residence of Shalom Mountain Retreat Center Wisdom School. He is also the co-founder and Editor of Incorrect Inc. publishing movement, co-founded with Mary Lainer, as well as the Scholar in Residence of Pacific Coast Community Church (under the direction of Dr. Bill Little).

Valilla
Vidyuddeva is a Zen Priest, Biblical Mystic and Tantric Evolutionary whose teachings cultivate three unique expressions of enlightenment: Suchness, Spirit, and Self-Story. In partnership with Stagen Institute, he guides business leaders in the discipline of sculpting the passionate purpose of their lives into the art of joyfully being freely and fully alive. He is pioneering new integral methodologies engaging our shared humanity in the recognition that God’s glory is the human being fully alive. He is a core faculty member of iEvolve: Global Practice Community.
3mistakesbox

How to Wire Your Brain for Success and Positivity Part 2

09/15/2009 10:08 AM

What is the difference between pleasure and enjoyment?

What habit is the quickest ticket to a depressing life?

And how can you become an optimist without being full of shit?

This is part two of our talk on positive psychology with Philosophers Notes creator, Brian Johnson. Join us as we lay out the fundamentals to having a fulfilling life.

Visit: http://philosophersnotes.com/thenewman

Click here to listen to Brian Johnson on The New Man.

In this episode:

What drains you?
What depletes you?
What’s the difference between pleasure and enjoyment?
Bill Harris, “Thresholds of the Mind” & Holosync
What are the fundamentals to living a satisfying life?
Why is a gratitude journal huge?
Quit your bitching!
Are you proactive or do you play the victim?
What is the quickest ticket to depression?
What is a practical optimist?
How does a pessimist view the world?
How to be more optimistic?

http://philosophersnotes.com/thenewman

Click here to listen to Brian Johnson on The New Man.

3mistakesbox

What happened to The New Man?

09/08/2009 04:10 PM

As some of you may have noticed, there was not a new episode of The New Man available today.

Not to worry -- all is fine. :)

I'm in the process of cranking out a New Man-based product as well as partnering with others to offer even more goodies.

What this means is that The New Man will now be coming every-other week which frees up more time for creating the goodies mentioned above.

...And I CAN'T WAIT to bust this stuff out. Stay tuned!

3mistakesbox

Tripp Lanier Interviewed on Mann-Sein

09/04/2009 01:16 PM

Here's a fun, quick audio interview on Mann-Sein.

Click here to hear Tripp Lanier on a German-based men's podcast (in English).

3mistakesbox

The New Man Monthly Update - September

09/02/2009 03:00 PM

I hope this finds you well.

Here's a quick monthly update on all things
related to The New Man. Enjoy!

RECENT EPISODES OF THE NEW MAN

This last month featured some of our best shows yet!

I got sooo many emails regarding our two part interview
about "How to Navigate a Woman's Emotional Minefield."
It's an instant classic.
Click here to learn "How to Navigate a Woman's Emotional Minefield."

Bryan Bayer and I delivered a ton of practical value in
our discussion of Sexual Hangups. What are the things
that have you holding back with your partner?
Click here to listen to Bryan Bayer discuss Sexual Hangups.

Joel Harper (YOU: On a Diet, Oprah.com, FitPackDVD.com)
delivered a ton of useful fitness tips and asked the
question, "Do you DESERVE to have an amazing body?"
Click here to listen to Joel Harper on The New Man.

And we rounded out the month with a dip into taboo
territory -- Polyamory. What can you learn from a new
mother in an open marriage?
Click here to listen to "What is Polyamory and How do
Open Relationships Work?"

UPCOMING EPISODES

In September, we'll be exploring Positive Psychology with Brian
Johnson, founder of Philosophers Notes. This is all about
how you can wire your brain for success and a fulfilling life.

We'll also be diving into the topic of Break Ups. I've had a lot
of requests for a show on breaking up, recovering from a
break up, etc.

NEW OFFERINGS

I've been in a seriously creative place. I'm currently working
on two offerings for those of you who love The New Man
and want to take it a step further. I can't wait to get this
stuff out to you.

If you want to learn more about these offerings, please be sure
to sign up for my newsletter if you haven't already.
Click here to sign up for The New Man Newsletter.

ONE ON ONE WITH TRIPP

I've had quite a few of you inquire about working with me
on a one-to-one basis, and until recently it wasn't possible.
Now the doors have re-opened for my "One-on-One with Tripp" offer.
Click here to learn more about working with Tripp One-on-One.

As always, I welcome your feedback and suggestions for
making The New Man better and better. Email me here.

Thanks for listening!
Tripp Lanier

Become a Fan of The New Man on Facebook
Follow The New Man on Twitter

3mistakesbox

How to Wire Your Brain for Success and Positivity Part 1

09/01/2009 08:47 AM

What is the real reason you work so hard to have security, friends, sex, status and, hell, anything?

Do you have a job, a career or a calling?

And what are the simple steps you can follow to ensure that you have a life full of satisfaction and fulfillment?

Sound like a cream-dream? Well, philosopher and entreprenuerial badass, Brian Johnson is back on The New Man Podcast to talk about what the emerging field of Positive Psychology can do for you.

Check out Philosophers Notes here.

Listen to Brian Johnson on The New Man here.

In this episode:

What is positive psychology?
Why does it matter to you?
Martin Seligman, “Authentic Happiness”
Abraham Maslow

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, “Flow”

What is the science of happiness, true well-being and flourishing?
Happiness is the end game -- beyond material possessions, spirituality, relationships, sex
What are your unique strengths?
Find your signature strengths at http://www.authentichappiness.com
How do you find out what you love?
Do you have a job, a career or a calling?
Marci Shimoff, “Happy for No Reason”
Maslow, “What one CAN be, one MUST be.”
How do you create flow in your life?

Check out Philosophers Notes here.

Listen to Brian Johnson on The New Man here.

3mistakesbox

Authentic Man/Woman Game Night THIS SATURDAY

08/25/2009 10:51 AM

Authentic Man/Woman Game Nights
with Host and Facilitator Alyson Schwabe

Saturday, August 29: 6:00-9:00pm (6:00-6:30 arrival, registration; meet & greet. 6:30 hard start)
At Boulder Integral (2805 Broadway, Boulder, CO 80304)
$20 per person
$30 per couple or if you bring a friend!
Pre-Registration Required by Friday August 28th.
To register, contact Jason Lange at 303.217.6208 or jason@boulderintegral.org

This Month's Theme: EMBODIMENT & PLAY!

Join us for a night dedicated to breaking through the barriers of our ‘social masks’ and self-imposed restrictions as we PLAYFULLY explore and practice meeting each other through revealing our authentic, embodied expression.

August 29th's theme is Embodiment & Play: We'll be exploring the art of meeting and honoring others -as they playfully choose to express themselves. You will also practice allowing yourself to be seen and met through embodied play. Having fun with the layers of the 'social masks' and self-imposed restrictions we don consciously and unconsciously. We'll be diving in to play and expression to see how honestly and adventurously we can share ourselves in the moment, with the person right in front of you.

About Game Nights:
Game Night provides a safe place to take risks and play a little more outside the box in a way that allows you to discover more of yourself and other. It’s a fun way for people to get to know one another and create community. Even if you've known each other for years, this is an opportunity to share and be seen in new ways. The best part is this is for singles and couples. Meet others who are into exploring new forms of relating or meet your current partner in a new way.

These nights are worth their weight in gold; they’re way better than a movie and popcorn!

Date & Time: Saturday August 29th, 6:00*-9:00pm. We'll go as far as we can in 2.5 hours. *Registration and social mixing begins at 6:00..Please be ready to start at 6:30 Sharp!

Cost: $20 per person (Discount to $30 per couple if you bring a date or a friend!!)

Space is limited so register soon. All reservations must be made by Friday August 28th. Contact Jason Lange at 303.217.6208 or jason@boulderintegral.org to reserve your spot today.

About Alyson:
Alyson Schwabe has been in the mental health and human services field for over 14 years. Her clinical experience includes residential care, individual, child, adolescent and family therapy, group facilitation, social work, and child protection services. She was also a teaching and training professional in parenting and behavior management. Alyson has worked with adult individuals, teens, couples, and families in therapeutic settings across the country. She has also worked in a didactic setting with corporate groups in Denver and Virginia and with the Integral Institute in Boulder. Alyson received her BA in psychology, and her MA in transpersonal psychology, and has completed specialization training in gestalt therapy. Alyson is a Licensed Professional Counselor through the state of Colorado.
Alyson’s theory and application are rooted in gestalt, developmental, energetic, and somatic psychologies. Her approach with clients and groups is creative and dynamic. Her central philosophies are aligned with integral theory, human potential, and consciousness development.
Currently, Alyson teaches Gestalt Therapy at Naropa University's School of Graduate Psychology. She also facilitates women's groups, therapeutic workshops, and gestalt-based intensives across the country. Alyson very much enjoys working with Authentic World and AuthenticSF, co-facilitating The Authentic Man Program (AMP), and The Authentic Woman Experience (AWE) in San Francisco, leading the women's team for Colorado's Red Pill Weekends, and Co-facilitating the Advanced Red Pill Weekends. She is currently working to bring AWE to Colorado. She sees private clients in her north Boulder office weekly, and is committed to teaching people to live intentionally and relate authenticity. She is thrilled to be offering more opportunities to the public that are rooted in this work. To read more about Alyson, click here: http://www.AlysonSchwabe.com

What is Polyamory and How do Open Relationships Work?

08/25/2009 09:30 AM

Is polyamory just a fancy word for sleeping around when you’re in a committed relationship?

Do all open relationships end in a self absorbed, sex-crazed disaster?

And what can you learn from the mother of a newborn who stayed home last night while her husband was on a date?

This week, Kendra Cunov is on The New Man to discuss her experience with polyamory and open relationships.

Kendra is the mother of a newborn and also the wife in an open marriage. In this episode she talks about her extensive experience with polyamory and open relationships. You will not want to miss this interview.

Click here to hear more about polyamory and open relationships.

In this episode:

What is Polyamory?
Open relationships
Open marriage and pregnancy
How to be parents and be in an open marriage
Not just for about the sex
Does wanting an open relationship mean something is wrong with your current relationship?
The number 1 pitfall of open relationships
What about jealousy?
Is having an open relationship a lot of work?
Why do open relationships fail?
What needs to be in place before a couple would try an open relationship?

Click here to hear more about polyamory and open relationships.

3mistakesbox

Learn Why You Are Always Attracted to the Wrong Person

08/19/2009 09:25 AM

Some of you may remember LiYana Silver -- she was a guest on
The New Man for some early episodes on relationships
and dating. She shared some GREAT info on those shows
and she has another great offer here for those of you
in a relationship-related rut.

If you ever wonder why you seem to date the same kind of "wrong"
person over and over .. and over again ...

If you ever feel like the person you are currently in
relationship with might be the "wrong" person ....

... you'll want to be on the fr*ee tele-seminar, "Why You Are Always
Attracted to the Wrong Person: The Five Secrets to Stepping Out
of Relationship Ruts" with my colleague and Relationship Expert,
LiYana Silver on Tuesday, August 25, 2009 at 5:30pm
Pacific time, 6:30pm Mountain time and 8:30pm Eastern time.

If you are like the men, women and couples she works with, I'll bet
you are not sure of the SOURCE of your painful, perplexing
relationship patterns - but you know you've got 'em.

I'll bet you want to know WHY you always end up fighting,
nagging, shaming, blaming and making each other miserable - even
though you love each other.

I'll bet you long for a WAY OUT of the "Groundhog-Day Dating"
syndrome of dating the same type of person over and over ... and
over again.

I'll bet you want to FIGURE IT OUT before this relationship
crashes and burns - or before getting into your next one.

This is exactly why she has compiled the essentials you need to
know in one place, in this astounding, powerfully simple tele-class.

She's dying to show you exactly how her clients move from
stagnation, frustration and impending separation to
extraordinary, satisfying and sustainable partnerships.

These Five Secrets to Stepping Out of Relationship Ruts are the
same ones she used to get out of her own long series of failed
relationships and build the rich, amazing partnership she's been
in now for the past seven years.

Now it's YOUR TURN.

Why You Are Always Attracted to the Wrong Person:
The Five Secrets to Stepping Out of Relationship Ruts

Tuesday, August 25, 2009
5:30pm PST; 6:30pm MST; 8:30pm EST

For men, women and couples
Fr*ee tele-class with Relationship Expert, LiYana Silver

To reserve your spot, use this link:

http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/relationship-courses/relationship-tele-class

"This was particularly powerful for me, as it created a
framework to understand the craziness that has been happening
in my love life. I wish that every guy I've ever dated could
have access to this information. No - I wish every guy in the
world could, as I can only imagine how much more fulfilling, fun
and fabulous our relationships and our world would be."

- Jessica Grippo, New York

"When we saw our patterns, habits and blind spots, we were able
to start fresh and see each other newly. We are now starting to
piece together what we want our relationship to look and be
like, bit by bit, after 10 years of being together. The whole
process hasn't always been a snap - but it has been way easier
than breaking up, getting a divorce down the road or continuing
to fight and make each other miserable."

- Tina Swift & Jack Peters, New Jersey

Here's that link again to reserve your spot in this
complimentary tele-class:

http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/relationship-courses/relationship-tele-class

And as a BONUS:

** Be able to ask your questions live on the tele-class

** Get a special offer to participate in LiYana's upcoming
10-week Tele-Seminar Series - Living Relationships: From
Relationship Ruts to Extraordinary Partnerships

By following these steps, unheard of shifts happen for the men,
women and couples LiYana works with.

“We had breakdowns in communication, weren't educated around
relationships in general and we didn't know our problems were
normal. We were constantly thinking, 'What’s wrong with him?
What’s wrong with her?' Without these skills, we would have
assumed we were incompatible, ditched the relationship and gone
our separate ways. Getting the right insights and guidance has
saved our relationship. We got truly amazing results from
applying simple things. We’re living the relationships - and
have been enjoying each other for over four years now!”

- Steve Munn & Shannon McCarthy, Connecticut

If you've been at the crossroads of wanting to either commit
further or end it, if you're exhausted from feeling disrespected
and dis-empowered, and if you've been wondering EXACTLY what
needs to happen so you can actually be LIVING the relationship
of your deepest desire, then, now it's YOUR TURN.

Why You Are Always Attracted to the Wrong Person:
The Five Secrets to Stepping Out of Relationship Ruts

Tuesday, August 25, 2009
5:30pm Pacific time
6:30pm Mountain time
8:30pm Eastern time

For men, women and couples
Fr*ee tele-class with Relationship Expert, LiYana Silver

To reserve your spot, use this link:

http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/relationship-courses/relationship-tele-class

I'm psyched about this opportunity to take what you've been
hearing on The New Man and put it into action --
all so you can have live the extraordinary
relationship you want - and deserve.

Thanks for listening to and supporting The New Man,
Tripp

---

PS: Feel free to forward this to other folks in your
life who would love to have the Five Secrets for Stepping
Out of Relationship Ruts, but please remember to reserve
your spot HERE first:

http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/relationship-courses/relationship-tele-class

-----

“ … rather than just lists of theoretical concepts, LiYana
offers profound, vital information that is easy to integrate
into one’s life and put into practice.”

- Manu Butterworth, San Francisco

3mistakesbox

Do you DESERVE to be in amazing shape? Joel Harper on The New Man.

08/18/2009 09:40 AM

What’s your excuse for not being in shape? Is it not enough time or money to go to the gym?

How is staying fit like brushing your teeth?

And what can you do when your partner and you are just not on the same page when it comes to fitness?

This week, big time and big city personal trainer, Joel Harper is on the show to tell you everything you need to know to get off your ass and stay in shape.

Joel Harper is a long-time certified personal trainer in New York City. He trains everyone from celebrities to Olympic Medalists and his training philosophies have been captured in the New York Times best-selling books YOU: THE OWNER'S MANUAL, YOU: ON A DIET, YOU: STAYING YOUNG and YOU: BEING BEAUTIFUL with Dr. Mehmet Oz.

Joel's workouts have been featured in multiple publications and TV programs, from Esquire to Oprah Magazine, all because his simple yet effective, no machines, no barbells exercises get results.

Click here to listen to Joel Harper on The New Man

In this episode, Joel delivers a ton of information that will eliminate any excuses you may have created. Time, money, equipment -- it doesn’t matter. He also lays out some fundamentals for working out, how to deal with your partner when you’re not on the same fitness page and confronting any possibility that you may not believe you deserve to be in great shape.

In this show:

Joel’s Workouts: No equipment necessary, short amount of time
The 4 Key Factors to Effective Workouts
Stretching -- when/how to get most benefits
Why is it easier for certain guys to stay in shape than others?
Why do you workout? To look better or to be stronger?
What about the guy that doesn’t have time to workout?
What to do if you’re feeling pain
What happens if you and your partner are out of sync when it comes to fitness?
Do you deserve to be in amazing shape? In a great relationship? In a great job?
So much conflicting information on fitness and nutrition: What are the facts?
What’s one thing you can do to feel more fit and strong today?
Where to find Joel’s workouts online for free

Fit Pack DVD

Click here to listen to Joel Harper on The New Man

3mistakesbox

Congrats to the Revolutionary Men!

08/12/2009 01:29 PM

Got a chance to help celebrate with Jayson Gaddis’ Revolutionary Man graduates this past weekend.

It’s a killer program with a one-of-a-kind leader.

Check out Jayson Gaddis and The Revolutionary Man here.

3mistakesbox

Sexual Hang Ups - We've all got 'em, so what can you do?

08/11/2009 08:40 AM

This week’s episode of The New Man is:

Bryan Bayer -- Sexual Hang Ups and How to Overcome Them

Are you one of those guys who gets all squirmy when the topic of sex comes up?

What are your beliefs around sex? Is it dirty and bad? Or fun and nourishing?

And how does your relationship TO sex affect EVERYTHING in your life -- especially your interactions with women?

This week Bryan Bayer is here to talk about how all of us have hang ups with fornication and what you can do to today to have a better sex life.

Click Here to Listen

In this episode:

http://www.tripplanier.com/sex for more information
What are the blocks that come up for guys around sex?
All of us have some hang ups or hooks around sex
Not owning desire has us making small talk, talking bullshit
Your relationship to sex is communicated LOUDLY outside of the bedroom
Women can feel where you’re hung up on sex
How can some guys “get away with” talking explicit about sex with women?
If you’re not comfortable with yourself as a primal, sexual being it will show up in many areas of your life
It affects guys in relationships too
Are you bringing your raw masculine attraction to the bedroom?
Guys can be in touch with their raw masculine but at the same time objectifying their partner
Guys can be in a connected space with their partner but lacking a true passionate ground
Sex with heart, raw/primal energy is an ideal
Macho Jerk is all about the cock, raw/primal energy but no heart
New Age Wimp is all about the heart connection but lacks his primal/raw energy
Growing up with guilt/shame around sex
Physical blocks
Protecting your balls
Pay attention to where you hold tension in your body
Breathing fully can impact sexual polarity
Emotional blocks
Belief structures
“Sex is...” fill in the blank
Find your unconscious beliefs around sex
Interpersonal blocks -- Relationship blocks
Sex is suffering because relationship is suffering
Punishing our partner or vice versa
Not feeling safe with our partner or vice versa
Resonance vs polarity
David Deida -- masculine and feminine
Polarity and intensity come from not doing everything together
The importance of the Man-cave
Quality of time vs quantity of time with your partner
Emotional hang ups
Fear of sex
Performance anxiety
Notice where you hold tension, how full is your breathing
Take a look at your belief structures around sex
Notice where you’re holding back emotions
If you’re holding back in your relationship, start being more straight forward
If you feel that the relationship is losing its zing, be willing to spend less time together in service of creating more passion and polarity
Authentic Sexual Power -- DVDs and CDs
Very explicit and informative
Practices

For more information on the Authentic Sexual Power DVD Set visit:
http://www.tripplanier.com/sex

Click Here to Listen

3mistakesbox

How to Deal with a Woman's Emotional Storm Part 2

08/04/2009 12:52 PM

When you’re woman freaks out, do you buckle or try to make it all go away?

Do you prefer a passionate woman or a stepford wife robot?

And does your woman really support you or does it seem like she’s just another obstacle getting in the way of the life you want to have?

Alyson Schwabe and Christiane Pelmas are back for part 2 of our talk on how to navigate a woman’s emotional mine field.

This is part 2 of our in depth talk on how to approach tough topics with your woman. In this one, we learn a BIG lesson around how to deal with a woman’s “emotional storm”, how saying “yes, dear” is killing her respect for you and other tips for avoiding those big traps men often fall into.

Click here to Listen.

For more information about The Red Pill Weekend click here.

In this episode:

Don’t be afraid of your woman’s storm
How to go through something hard and come out okay
Why am I in this relationship?
Life with a woman is about storm
Storming is about being passionate
Do you want a passionate woman or a stepford wife robot?
Storming is to test a man, to see if he’s trustable
The storm does not mean something is wrong
Do not buckle to the storm
If you buckle, she will take over your role in the relationship or look for some way to fill it
It’s not about winning a fight or dominating the scenario
She’s entitled to her response and it has virtually nothing to do with you
Don’t take on her feelings
And don’t defensively posture
Stay curious
We want to know that in our relationships, we can say anything
Most common belief: I’m the only one that has to deal with this
Don’t try to do it alone
Get help with big problem areas -- find a therapist, coach or counselor
Trust that your relationship can stand the test and actually grow
Look at your partner as a team member, not as your opponent

Click here to Listen.

For more information about The Red Pill Weekend click here.

3mistakesbox

New Video Available: The 3 Biggest Mistakes All Guys Make and How to Avoid Them

07/31/2009 10:25 AM

In case you haven’t noticed, I added some videos to the site.

Most notably, a little ditty I call “The 3 Biggest Mistakes All Guys Make and How to Avoid Them” available on the homepage by entering your email address.

It’s already gotten a lot of positive responses on The New Man Podcast Facebook page as well as through emails that I receive.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

Thanks!

3mistakesbox

How to Navigate a Woman's Emotional Minefield Part 1

07/28/2009 10:21 AM

Are you scared to bring up certain topics because you don’t want to cause a shitstorm with your girl?

Do you resent your partner for saying what you can and can not do?

And how is it possible that by avoiding conflict, you’re actually killing the relationship?

This week, Alyson Schwabe and Christiane Pelmas are on the show to talk about how to navigate a woman’s emotional minefield and approach taboo subjects or those conversations you’ve been avoiding.

Click here to listen

For more information about The Red Pill Weekend click here.

In this episode we talk about addressing taboo and touchy topics with your woman. Whether it’s money, going on a weekend trip with the fellas or having anal sex to spice things up in the bedroom -- navigating a woman’s emotional storm depends on YOU being confident in what you want and speaking that clearly. Alyson and Christiane lay out some amazingly valuable tips from a woman’s perspective to help you have a more satisfying relationship.

In this episode:

“If I could just talk to her about this, things would be better...”
Fear that even speaking about stuff will set off a fight
Can’t talk about sex, money, health issues
How to discuss taboos
Speaking your desire is the biggest topic
Many people struggling being straight up with what they want in relationship
It’s a dealbreaker that things can’t even be discussed
We imagine how our partners will respond -- not based in reality
Dating women with kids from a previous marriage
It’s not okay to speak your truth
Quit assuming you know what your partner is going to say or do
Joking “around” the subject doesn’t help you -- it hurts you
It’s not the topic that she’s rejecting, it’s how you’re approaching it
Not owning your desire has you come off as creepy, untrustworthy
If she can’t trust how you’re speaking about something, she can’t trust how you may do it
Fallacy: “You’re responsible for my being satisfied”
Drill down and get clear about why you desire this
Make it right for having this in your life
Don’t let your shame stuff it for you
Don’t make it that she’s not okay with it
Deep down, are you okay with it?
If you’re scared or timid -- be straight with that, bring that to the conversation
The danger of cutting off or not owning your desire
Cutting off what you want makes you less trustworthy
She may not like the content but she’ll trust you more
You have a choice in every situation -- you just may not like the options
What’s more important to you? To live a lie or to in integrity
Being in relationship with a whole person

For more information about The Red Pill Weekend click here.

Click here to listen

3mistakesbox

Clay Collins - How to Follow Your Purpose AND Pay the Bills

07/21/2009 11:00 AM

Do you feel stuck in a job but don’t think you could possibly survive as a your own boss?

Are you thinking, “If I follow my passion the money will just come!”

And is it really possible to connect your life purpose to the way you earn a living?

This week, Clay Collins is on the show to talk about how YOU can live your mission AND pay the bills.

Click here to listen.

So many guys make the sickening choice between following what they truly love and sticking with a job just to pay the bills. It’s a tragic “either/or” scenario. Clay Collins has made it his mission to teach men how to build their own business online so that they can care for their families and live a life in alignment with their deeper purpose.

Clay brings up a strong point that in our today’s culture where men lack a valid initiation into manhood, owning your own business will serve that purpose.

We’ll also talk about the myth of “If I follow my passion the money will just come”, the danger of Job-ification and what you can do today to bring your life into alignment without having to live on the street.

Be sure to visit http://www.projectmojavesite.com/newman

Click here to listen.

In this episode:

The Mission of Project Mojave
FinanceYourFreedom.com
Quit your job, escape cubicle hell
Living into your full potential
Hoping a job will provide a sense of meaning/purpose
Hoping more education will provide meaning/purpose
There is no job that will “do it all” for you
Feeling like a f**k up
Stumbling in the workforce
Feeding your family while following your purpose
Guys are hesitant to take financial risks when they have a family
Do you follow your vision or do you feed your family?
Internet Marketing and Inner Game
What is a Freedom Business?
Helping people earn a living on the internet within three months
To free up time for personal growth, family, etc.
Freedom Business is a stepping stone to your Mission Business
Designed to work quickly and without much startup money
Information Products
We want a guarantee of success
We want the nuts and bolts of what to do
Testing your business idea
The Myth of: Do what you love and the money will follow
Being driven by opportunity
The need for a purpose in what you do
Being driven by what you love
How your Freedom Business serves your Mission
What is Job-ification?
How to keep from hating what you do
Lack of itinitation rites for men in our culture and becoming a man through business
Running a business will make you grow up
Mission Mindmap, Statement and Journal
Working on yourself is working on your business
“What is my purpose in life?”
“What do I need to do today so I can fall asleep tonight in peace knowing I have given everything?”

Click here to listen.

http://www.projectmojavesite.com/newman

3mistakesbox

Do this today and feel better about your life. Seriously.

07/17/2009 10:54 AM

I just answered an email to someone asking about how to accept praise and
deal with the nagging feeling of “I’m not enough.” Good thing is that I’ve got
some experience with these goblins. :-)

Here was my response:

There's a "law" that says, what you focus on grows. Right now, I'm
imagining that you're focusing on one side of the story and in
your world it eclipses what is positive.

Good news, is that you can actually train yourself to shift that
and ultimately feel fulfilled and satisfied.

You just gotta pull your head out of your ass. :-)

Here's some tips I've used to own my value and feel satisfied:

EVERYDAY take five minutes to sit down and shut the fuck up. Make
a mental list of all the things that are going well and are benefiting
you (and others).

I usually use a sentence-stem like "I'm grateful for..."
and just fill in the blank. Sometimes it is big (the latest NM
episode that rocked) sometimes it is small (the ice cream
cone after lunch).

When I started doing this it was challenging to find things to be
grateful for. I had trained myself to only see "what is not enough".

This is a practice. Do it daily. I now find that I can sit there
and go on and on and on for the things that make my life amazing.

Next, ask yourself, "What did I do to facilitate that positive event/thing?"
Whatever it is, big or small, own your part.

Just like taking radical responsibility for when the shit hits the
fan in life, take responsibility for the good stuff. For me it
could be, "I'm grateful that Joel Harper was on The New Man.
I was curious about his work so I emailed his publicist and asked
if he would be on the show."

It doesn't have to be monumental. Nonetheless own
your thoughts/actions and SEE that you are RESPONSIBLE.

You get extra points if you do this before you go to sleep at night, too.

There's also a this website which has a ton of easy practices to do.
I highly recommend it.

3mistakesbox

Men's Group for ages 18-24 with Jayson Gaddis

07/16/2009 10:10 AM

Here’s a cool opportunity from Jayson Gaddis for men 18-24 years old looking for a group to join. The group will meet in Boulder.

===

Who? Young men ages 18-24.
Cost? $50/group/man for 6 groups to get the group going. If you pay in full, it will cost $275 per man for all 6 groups.
Where? Boulder
When? Every other Monday night, starting in August.
How Long? 2 hrs. 7-9pm, 6 sessions. They continue on their own once they get the hang of things
Purpose? read this short blog post: http://bit.ly/18SRZ4
Facilitator? Jayson Gaddis, LPC ( more about Jayson at http://revolutionaryman.com/jayson-gaddis/)

My website provides valuable resources for men in their 20's & 30's. If you or they are unclear as to why a men's group might be beneficial read this short blog post http://bit.ly/18SRZ4 and explore my other posts:

Thanks!

Jayson Gaddis, LPC
http://www.revolutionaryman.com

3mistakesbox

How to deal with intensity

07/15/2009 12:21 PM

I’m not one of those guys that seeks intensity. My idea of a GREAT time is chilling at the beach with some good friends and catching some mellow, waist high waves. Nothing about that seems too hairy to me.

But there’s a little danger here if I find myself avoiding intensity altogether.

Physical intensity -- the kind I may feel in an intense workout, hike or swim
Emotional intensity -- allowing myself to actually FEEL pissed off or hurt or hell, even happy!
Intensity from a woman -- she’s upset, yelling at me... you get the picture
Sexual intensity -- allowing myself to fully feel my attraction, desire and physical sensations without having to ejaculate instantly, etc.
Intensity of conflict -- when the going gets tough, it’s time to haul ass

The list goes on.

So, I don’t really seek out intensity, but I do appreciate it’s benefits. This morning I participated in a particularly intense yoga class. I hate yoga. I love the philosophy and the metaphor for life, but holding a painful position while my body wobbles and burns is NO fun. I secretly think that people who love yoga are absolutely bonkers :-)

How is yoga beneficial beyond just having a good workout? It trains me to be with intensity. It trains me to stay focused and calm while fire alarms are going off in my body and brain. It trains me for standing firm while life throws shitballs my way. (Strength training helps me here, too.)

Bottom line -- learning how to be with physical intensity will increase your ability to be with other types of intensity (emotional, sexual, conflict, etc.)

Get my drift? Try it for yourself. Find something you enjoy and play with the intensity. Go into that place that isn’t so fun and train yourself to stay open and available. Notice when you want to “check out” and distract yourself. Stay in the feeling.

How do you avoid intensity? What could you do to train yourself for handling intensity? Email me and let me know.

3mistakesbox

How to Find Your Purpose or Mission Part 2

07/14/2009 12:57 PM

Are you spending your day trying to GET money, ass or attention?

Do you accumulate things in order to feel better about yourself?

And how could you earn a living by helping others transform their lives for the better?

This week, Guy Sengstock is back for part 2 of our talk on finding your purpose and mission in life.

Click here to listen

We’re back with Guy Sengstock in our exploration of how to find your purpose or mission in life. In this episode, Guy shares his own personal story of revealing his passion and gifts.

We also make some powerful distinctions around how men use the world as a place to GET SOMETHING -- money, sex, attention, validation, etc. The flip side is seeing the world as a place to EXPRESS SOMETHING -- namely your talents and abilities to provide value or positively impact others.

Guy also walks us through a preview of his year long transformational coaching program. This is a great offering to consider if you’re looking to make some major changes in your life AND develop some skills to earn a living by helping others.

For more information on this year long transformational coaching visit:
http://www.AuthenticManProgram.com/TCLT/

Or contact Guy Sengstock at (415) 290-8385 or guy@aretecenter.com

For more information on what Circling is:
http://blog.authenticmanprogram.com/2009/05/24/guy/#comments

In this episode:

How Guy found his purpose by following his heart
Going to art school in San Francisco
How Circling came to be
Being gifted at something
Feeling more alive giving the gift
Following where he felt most alive
Following his deepest desire
The difficulty of speaking your purpose/mission
How you make your money, the people you hang out with
The importance of having other men in your life
The need for feedback from others
Humans are the only creatures who can lie to ourselves
The Narcissus Myth
Falling in love with the reflection
Agonizing over a yearning for the reflection
You already are what you’ve been searching for
You’ve found your purpose when it’s not outside of you “to get”
A BMW or Confidence
We want things because of the experience we think they will provide
What is an expression of your confidence?
Are you trying to get something from the world?
Or are you trying to express something in the world?
Look at what you’re currently doing in life
Why am I really doing this?
Start to be brutally honest with yourself
What does that get you?
Did you choose this?
If no, what would you choose?
Coaching, therapy, men’s groups
David Deida
Your death bed
Guy’s year long coaching program
How to be fully yourself
Creating transformational moments
Year long transformational crucible

Click here to listen

3mistakesbox

July AMP Courses Disounted - Limited Time Only

07/13/2009 10:39 AM

Hey Guys -- this is a great opportunity to take one of the stellar AMP Courses being offered in San Francisco. They’re offering some big discounts.

$400 off the AMP Intensive (July 24-26)
$300 off the Advanced AMP Next weekend (July 17-19)

Click here to learn more and be sure to tell ‘em The New Man Podcast sent you. :-)

3mistakesbox

Authentic Man/Woman Game Nights in Boulder

07/09/2009 10:58 AM

Authentic Man/Woman Game Nights
with Alyson Schwabe, and Ray Brejcha

Saturday, July 18: 6:00-9:30pm (6:00-6:30 arrival, registration; meet & greet. 6:30 hard start)
At Boulder Integral (2805 Broadway, Boulder, CO 80304)
$20 per person
$30 per couple or if you bring a friend of the opposite sex!
Pre-Registration Required by Friday July 17th.
To register, contact Jason Lange at 303.217.6208 or jason@boulderintegral.org

Ever notice how difficult it feels to truly reveal your most authentic self? Or connect deeply with a person when that’s all you really want to do?
Join us for a night dedicated to breaking through the barriers of our ‘social masks’ as we playfully explore and practice connecting deeply through revealing our authentic selves. --All in service of creating more exciting, engaging & flourishing relationships!

July 18th’s theme is connection: We'll be exploring the art of deeply seeing others, and of allowing ourselves to be deeply seen; having fun with the layers of the 'social masks' we don consciously and unconsciously. We'll be diving in to see how honestly and adventurously we can cut to the chase and create deeper connection, in the moment, with the person right in front of you.

Game Night provides you a safe place to take risks and play a little more outside the box in a way that allows you to discover more of yourself and other. It’s a fun way for people to get to know one another -- even if you've known each other for years. The best part is this is for singles and couples. Meet others who are into juicy relating or meet your current partner in a new way.
These nights are worth their weight in gold; they’re way better than a movie and popcorn!

Date & Time: Saturday July 18th, 6:00*-9:00pm. We'll go as far as we can in 2.5 hours. *Registration and social mixing begins at 6:00..let's all be ready to start at 6:30 Sharp!

Cost: $20 per person (Discount to $30 per couple if you bring a date or if you bring a friend of the opposite sex!!)

Space is limited so register soon. All reservations must be made by Friday July 17th. Contact Jason Lange at 303.217.6208 or jason@boulderintegral.org to reserve your spot today.

About Alyson:

Alyson Schwabe has been in the mental health and human services field for over 14 years. Her clinical experience includes residential care, individual, child, adolescent and family therapy, group facilitation, social work, and child protection services. She was also a teaching and training professional in parenting and behavior management. Alyson has worked with adult individuals, teens, couples, and families in therapeutic settings across the country. She has also worked in a didactic setting with corporate groups in Denver and Virginia and with the Integral Institute in Boulder. Alyson received her BA in psychology, and her MA in transpersonal psychology, and has completed specialization training in gestalt therapy. Alyson is a Licensed Professional Counselor through the state of Colorado.

Alyson’s theory and application are rooted in gestalt, developmental, energetic, and somatic psychologies. Her approach with clients and groups is creative and dynamic. Her central philosophies are aligned with integral theory, human potential, and consciousness development.

Currently, Alyson teaches Gestalt Therapy at Naropa University's School of Graduate Psychology. She also facilitates women's groups, therapeutic workshops, and gestalt-based intensives across the country. Alyson very much enjoys working with Authentic World and AuthenticSF, co-facilitating The Authentic Man Program (AMP), and The Authentic Woman Experience (AWE) in San Francisco, leading the women's team for Colorado's Red Pill Weekends, and Co-facilitating the Advanced Red Pill Weekends. She is currently working to bring AWE to Colorado. She sees private clients in her north Boulder office weekly, and is committed to teaching people to live intentionally and relate authenticity. She is thrilled to be offering more opportunities to the public that are rooted in this work. To read more about Alyson, click here: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/36416 or: http://www.AlysonSchwabe.com

About Ray Brejcha:

Ray Brejcha is a workshop leader, speaker, and international personal and relationship coach who passionately inspires men and women to lead an authentic life. Ray’s approach to teaching and coaching is grounded in his commitment to yoga and health, and a deep understanding of masculine/feminine dynamics. He brings a fresh, engaging, warm and witty style to his coaching and facilitation along with the powerful gift of presence.

Ray draws upon his diverse experience working in Silicon Valley as a top sales executive, as a skilled Success and Results coach with the Peak Potentials Organization, course facilitator for The Mankind Project, and a competitor on the TV show “American Gladiator.” Ray has been educated and certified by some of the nation’s top training organizations for coaching, seminar facilitation, relationship, sales, leadership and presentation skills, and has coached 100’s of clients in ten different countries. He has facilitated popular monthly workshops in Boulder Colorado on authentic relationship. He brings a fresh, engaging, warm and witty style to his coaching and facilitation with the Authentic Man Program along with the powerful gift of presence. Ray is also the co-founder and creator of the Red Pill Weekend in Colorado. He is committed to helping others create wildly fulfilling relationships that are fun, deep and meaningful.

In addition to teaching large groups of men and women at seminars around the United States, Ray also has a limited number of one-on-one sessions for men and women designed to allow you live and fully experience wildly fulfilling relationships that are fun, deep and meaningful… all based on you learning how to just simply be and express yourself more fully and authentically. To learn more about Ray, click here: www.raybrejcha.com or www.redpillweekend.com

3mistakesbox

How to Find Your Purpose or Mission

07/07/2009 09:43 AM

Is your job a place to just make money or is it something you deeply love?

Do you ever find yourself at work wondering, “What in the hell am I doing?”

And -- be honest -- why are you living the life you’re living? Is it a reflection of what you deeply desire or has it just happened?

This week Guy Sengstock returns to The New Man Podcast to talk about how to find your purpose in life.

Guy Sengstock (coach, Arete Creator and Co-Owner of Authentic SF) joins us to talk about how to find your purpose or mission in life. Guy’s purpose (and career) is basically to help others find their purpose; so who better to have in the hot seat?

We discuss how men get caught up in the WHAT of their lives -- the emails, the to do list, the accomplishments. And yet we have a deeper connection to WHY we do them. This leaves us feeling drained and burdened instead of alive and energized.

Join us as we fumble f--k our way through an exploration of this critical process in a man’s life.

Click here to listen.

For more information on Guy’s year long transformational coaching training visit:
http://www.AuthenticManProgram.com/TCLT/

Or contact Guy Sengstock at (415) 290-8385 or guy@aretecenter.com

For more information on what Circling is:
http://blog.authenticmanprogram.com/2009/05/24/guy/#comments

In this episode:

The Circling Process
Purpose
Finding your mission
Helping others find their purpose
Trying to find your purpose kinda screws it up
The danger of not listening to yourself
Living under the ultimate male-illusion
“If you work hard enough one day it’ll be over”
David Deida
Striving to feel release, bliss
Finding the answer means finding freedom
Men are lost in the content of our lives
To Do Lists, Jobs, Details, the Grindstone
Getting lost in emails
How do you feel after your work?
Purpose equals context
Purpose is why you’re doing what you’re do
Purpose is not the accomplishment
Year Long Coaching Program
When work becomes a burden
The difference between work and living your purpose
Why are you doing what you do?
What do you really want?
What is my desire?
Separating your voice from the voices of others
Parents, Friends, Society
Having the balls to ask these questions
You always have a “why” for the things in life
Is it your “why”?
Your current life supports you to stay where you are
Feeling drained or burdened indicates you’re not living your purpose
Start to get honest with yourself
Be willing to admit that you don’t know what is driving you
What gives your actions meaning?
Start with what is your purpose right now?
Are you living someone else’s life?
Doing what your told?
Defying what your told?
Everything I do is something I’ve consciously do from the heart
Discovering your prison cell is elating
You’re not locked in your prison cell
The beginning of choice
You can only make choices for things that you’re aware of
There’s more possible
Continuously waking up
Not a utopia
Is your “why” a chosen why?

Click here to listen.

3mistakesbox

How can a gay man help your monogamous sex life?

06/30/2009 12:35 PM

Are you one of those guys who confuses homosexuality with pedophilia?

How are gay men similar to straight men?

And what can you learn from a gay man about improving the sex in your monogamous relationship?

This week Associate Professor King Mott is on the show to discuss taking on the Roman Catholic Church and what to do about you married guys that are cruising for ass away from home.

Click here to listen

This week King Mott joins us on The New Man. He’s an Associate Professor of Political Science and Gender Studies at Seton Hall University and recently went head to head with the Roman Church over their scapegoating of homosexuals in the pedophilia cases that plagued the institution.

King also discusses what it’s like to be a gay man in America, how gays (generally) see the world much differently than straight men, what it’s like to be a gay man doing men’s work and how gay men are way ahead in the realm of having sexually satisfying monogamous relationships.

Be sure to visit the New Man Podcast on Facebook and let us know what you got from this episode.

In this episode:

Roman Catholic Church
Pedophilia
Homosexuality
Equating pedophiles and homosexuals
Homosexuality within the Roman Church
Bigotry
The New York Times
Standing up to the Roman Church
Prejudice against homosexual, lesbian community
Perpetuating Homophobia
Pedophilia has nothing to do with sexual orientation
Seton Hall and it’s administration
The importance of controversial ideas
Roman church aiding pedophiles
Scapegoating gay men
The straight white male establishment
Ideas are changing towards LGBT
Homophobia is another form of misogyny
White straight men are not at fault
Living in a patriarchal society
Fear of anything different
The importance of personal experience
Irony of sex in American culture
Mixed messages in our culture with regards to sex
Sex is private
Trying to legislate sexual morality
Being a “fag” in the locker room
Younger generations are more tolerant
Most of us know someone who is gay
Most gay men are not safe in parts of this country
How are gay and straight men similar?
Essentialism
Gay people see the world differently
Gay ghettos -- Chelsea, the Castro -- crime rates are low
The danger of stereotyping
Straight alpha males
How gays interact - power differentials
Gays and women being outside of the power differential
Gays and men’s work
The Mankind Project
Straight men and same sex experiences
Shame
Being in one’s power
Seeking truth in a safe way
Father issues
Waiting to see if it’s safe to come out of the closet
Gays as social chameleons
Trust is built and earned
What gay men and straight men can teach each other
Straight men and the struggle with monogamy
Gay men and emotional monogamy vs sexual monogamy
You don’t have to expect “everything” out of just one person
What happens after prince charming meets his princess?
The trap of “finding the one”
Marriages that are emotionally and sexually dead
Talk with your wife that you’re feeling stuck in the marriage
She may be feeling stuck, too
Divorces, satisfying marriages
CLAG -- Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies

Click here to listen

3mistakesbox

Find Your Purpose by Having Fun?

06/24/2009 12:35 PM

I just did an interview with Guy Sengstock for an upcoming New Man episode on finding your purpose.

Some of the big things we discussed were “following your heart”, “doing what you love”, “following your passion” -- that kind of stuff. When it comes down to paying bills and feeding kids that kind of advice seems insane. We discuss this and how no matter what, it’s the key to living an amazing life.

That said, yesterday I found this little app for the iPhone called Brushes. I F-CKING LOVE THIS!!

Now -- what in the hell does this have to do with following your passion? Well, many moons ago, I was a young art student at FSU (with a REALLY bad haircut that I thought was cool at the time). I loved to paint and draw and create photos; however, I didn’t dig the static nature of paintings. I was a product of MTV and wanted to see things MOVE. I wanted to see things COME ALIVE.

I wasn’t passionate about still pictures on a wall, so I left graphic design and went into motion design. I learned how to tell stories with moving pictures. This eventually led me to where I am today -- hosting a show that I absolutely love and helping men’s lives ROCK. I never had a plan on how to get here -- I just followed what I loved doing.

So -- back to painting. I had all but forgotten about the joy I found in painting until I found this app. It allows me to create some cool doodles on my (always with me) iPhone without the mess. But here’s the kicker...

Through the magic of iPhones and invisible iPhone leprechauns, the app allows you to create a movie of the painting being created! Now my paintings aren’t static. They MOVE! They’re ALIVE! (Check out the video on this page below to see what I mean)

I’m so freakin’ excited. I love this thing. Thank you, magical iPhone people! You’ve helped make my life so much more enjoyable and passionate. Instead of wasting time online, I’m now CREATING.

So -- What makes you feel alive? How do you play everyday?

Shoot me an email and let me know.

A Movie of a Painting on the iPhone from Tripp Lanier on Vimeo.

Is Money STILL Stressing You Out?

06/23/2009 09:16 AM

Brent Kessel -- It’s Not About the Money

Author/Financial Planner/Yogi Brent Kessel joins us to discuss the inner demons and voices we ALL carry with regards to money. First off, money is not the root of all evil -- it’s our grasping and clinging for it. From this place, Kessel helps us figure out what our unconscious processes are that keep us “stuck” financially.

Do you and your partner struggle to see eye to eye with your finances? By diving into the different money archetypes, you’ll see the possible solutions for finding harmony with the family finances.

Brent’s book, “It’s Not About the Money” is a solid guide for mastering the inner game of money and helping you find true well being.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

In this episode:

Yoga, Meditation and Money
Blending finances with spirituality
Leaving a meaningful legacy
Life changes in India
Psychology and Finances
Abacus Portfolios
Why finances/money such a loaded topic for people
Fear for Survival
Your financial worst case scenario
Fears that we face have less power than the ones we don’t
It’s Not About the Money
Happiness and fear usually unrelated to how much money you have
It’s about you, your relationship to fear and money
A four year old runs your financial life
If I just had more I would be happy
Fulfillment and well being
Believing advertising
Comparing ourselves to others
Prioritize well being
Why the disconnect between reality and our thoughts?
The mind makes a problem out of life
What is running the mental treadmill?
Nothing wrong with money
Dalai Lama on money
Money is not evil
Grasping, clinging creates the problem
“If I have that then I’ll be happy”
We Get What We Think We Deserve
Subconscious mind, nervous system and money
Lottery winners, NFL Players and bankruptcy
Core story with money
Eight Financial Achetypes
The Guardian
The Pleasure Seeker
The Innocent
The Idealist
The Caretaker
The Star
The Empire Builder
The Saver
Balance is better than being imbalanced
How to save your marriage with money problems
We attract the achetype that we most need to develop
What is your money mask?
Secrecy keeps us trapped in our money woes

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

http://www.NotAboutTheMoney.com
http://www.AliveWorld.com
http://www.AbacusWealth.com

3mistakesbox

Kill Your Idols -- How to Build a Virtual Men's Group

06/17/2009 12:25 PM

Kill Your Idols -- What Does that Mean?

Perhaps you’ve heard the statement, “Kill Your Idols”. Does that mean we can’t admire others? Are we supposed to train ourselves to dismiss the folks we find most inspiring?

For me, it’s about watching what happens when we place *anyone* on a pedestal. Guys (and I’m guilty of this, too) will place certain women on a pedestal -- elevating her to a place where she’s actually no longer a human being. Instead she’s a blank screen for us to project our fantasies, hopes and desires. It’s basically another version of objectification (guys in the friend zone, pay attention).

Ask any woman worth her salt if she wants some guy gushing over her all the time without actually SEEING WHO SHE IS and she’ll think it’s gross.

A wise man once told me as we watched a “Goddess” float across the street -- “She wipes her butt everyday just like you do.” And it’s true. By elevating her beyond humanity I was performing a real disservice to both parties. Point taken.

So how does that apply to our “idols”?

Like most people, I get inspired by various men and women. I don’t know them personally, but when I see them “doing their thing” I get fired up and want to do MY thing. What’s happening here? Am I creating a fantasy and buying into it?

Let’s see...

In the past I could make it about them. “That person makes me feel amazing.” Which is actually bullshit. No one makes you feel anything.

And yet, I still felt something positive. I felt more energy and had a desire to act positively. How could I harness that inspiration without it being about THEM?

“I’m inspired by that person and I want to use that energy to do my thing.”

Stay tuned, we’ll get back to this in just a second...

A Virtual Men’s Group

I’m a big fan of men’s groups and one of the reasons why is that when I participate in a group with solid men I get “pulled up” to a better version of myself. For instance, being around solid, accountable guys has me be more solid and accountable in my life -- even when they’re not present.

The same could be said for hanging out with dudes that aren’t solid or accountable. If I were to spend more time with them, I imagine that I would become less solid and accountable. Simple, and yet I’ve experienced this quite a few times.

I receive a lot of emails from guys wanting to know about men’s groups in their area, how they can start one, etc. Well, here’s a little experiment you can try to see if you can benefit from the little phenomenon I described above.

The other day, I went online and downloaded some candid photos of various men that are inspiring to me. I chose pictures that showed them flashing a genuine (not posed) smile. To me, their hearts seemed open and available.

After I lined up the photos on my computer screen, I sat back and thought, “Who would I have to BE to contribute to these men’s lives? Who would I have to BE to deserve a friendship with these men? Who would I have to BE to sit in a circle with them?”

What struck me is that in the past I would’ve asked, “What do I have to HAVE in order to...” The emphasis is on having something, some external accomplishment like multi-platinum record sales, a national TV show, millions in the bank, etc.

But this time it was more about BEING. Who would I have to BE?

Stay with me.

I got present in my body and felt my chest expand. And then I noticed what felt like an energetic space right in front of me. The answer FELT like I just had to really OWN being Me. I just had to fully STEP INTO BEING ME.

In other words, I just had to be the bigger version of me that is already here. For some reason, I was waiting for permission or some kind of external reason to actually be the best guy I could be. Bright, present, grounded, heartfelt and ballsy -- the list could go on.

And this energetic place was right there and I just had to claim it, to step into it. What was it like? For me this place feels like a deep confidence, a deep knowing, a solid trusting in myself and the universe. No amount of external “prizes” could provide that.

And yes, it was f--king weird. :)

So what does this really mean?

To me, “killing your idols” means something different. I recognize that many people are operating at a frequency that is truly exceptional. They make the world a better place just by being themselves and sharing their gifts -- whether they are entertaining others, awakening minds or changing diapers.

When I place my idols on a pedestal, I miss the opportunity to RISE to that level. It keeps me “below” them. In my body it feels like a collapse. It’s as if I’m saying, “You’re better than me and I’ll never be that good...”

Bullshit.

Well, what would have to happen INSIDE of me in order to step into that greatness? How can I tap into that for myself RIGHT NOW?

I’ll keep you posted. :-)

So, your challenge should you choose to accept it:

Create a list of 5-10 people that really inspire you. Maybe it’s their deeds in the world, but see if you can discern the difference between their accomplishments and how you actually feel just by seeing them.
Collect photos of these people in candid, open and available states -- I found that I was most attracted to my list of people when they were “caught” smiling -- not posing.
This is key -- Line up the photos in front of you. Take a moment to notice what comes alive in you. What do you feel?
Feel it in your body. Is it in your chest (mine was), throat, belly? Make a mental note to listen to this part of your body.
Consider yourself pregnant. Nurture this sensation and focus on it. Allow it to grow. Touch it. Warm it up. Love it up. This IS your power.
After a few breaths, ask yourself, “Who do I have to BE to become a part of this group? What in me is called forward?”
Practice this process everyday until you can OWN this. This is your greatness. It can’t be given to you. You have to claim it.

Shoot me an email and let me know what worked for you.

3mistakesbox

Stuck in a Financial Rut?

06/16/2009 05:21 PM

Check out Brent Kessel at Esalen.

I just got off the phone with author Brent Kessel (It’s Not About the Money -- one of my faves). He’s got an event coming up at Esalen June 26-28. Check it out below and stayed tuned for his interview on The New Man soon.

(Click this image for more information)

The Perfect Gift for Wifey

06/16/2009 02:28 PM

I’ll definitely be getting one of these for Mrs Lanier. Could Marci Davis be any hotter? No. She could not be any hotter.

VibraVac from Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll on Vimeo.

Are you a vicTIM or a vicTOR?

06/16/2009 11:04 AM

Sean Stephenson -- Get Off of Your “But” and Live Large

In these “tough times” Sean Stephenson is here to show us how to cut the crap and move forward. Sean avoided an early death sentence at birth, multitudes of surgeries and physical setbacks to live an amazing life as a therapist, author and speaker -- impacting people all around the world.

In one particular story, Sean tells us how his mother asked him if he was going to use his situation as a gift or a burden. Heavy stuff for a fourth grade kid. Sean is here to remind us how to lose the excuses and victim-mentality that keep us playing small.

So -- are you using adversity as a gift or a burden? The only thing holding you back is yourself. Listen to this inspiring conversation if you want to grow.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

In this episode:

Interpreting the challenges in life
Reality Show on A&E “Three Foot Giant”
Your “victim story” is the biggest thing holding you back
Fairness is an illusion
Your responsibility to live is a vicTOR vs a vicTIM
Your mentality creates your reality
Living your dreams makes some people nervous
Is this going to be a gift or a burden in your life?
Nobody has it easy
Maintain and upgrade your beliefs
How your community keeps you where you are
Surround yourself with solid people
The “Sean-tourage”
You are like your friends
Character traits of those around you
How do we choose our friends?
If something is meant to be, you can take it slow
Tolerating crappy relationships
Book -- “Get Off Your But”
Fears
Insecurities
Excuses
Go for long term pleasure which is fulfilling
Finding your purpose is sexy
What do I need to do today to be living my purpose?
Where are you most happy & fulfilled?
We are more scared of success than failure
Being challenged about how much you want it
Rule with a velvet hammer
How challenging yourself physically strengthens you mentally
What was the worst day of your life?
Learn from others’ experiences
The boundary of your problem
Face your fear
When you do things that are courageous you gain confidence
InnerGameMagazine.com

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

3mistakesbox

Do Your Secrets Own You?

06/09/2009 10:58 AM

Tripp Lanier pt 2 -- You can’t #$%* it up and you can’t get it right

We rejoin the discussion with Tripp Lanier as he shares a powerful story about an exchange with Zen Master Jun Po Roshi. Ray and Tripp talk about the dangers of becoming a “wound worshipper”, how your wariness makes others wary of you and how your secrets ultimately own you. Also, listen as the benefits of getting real with your fears and the transformation of sharing them with others is revealed.

Click here to listen.

In episode 2:

The gift of being smacked with a stick
A valuable lesson from Jun Po
Living a paradox
“You can’t fuck it up and you can’t get it right”
Working so hard to get it right and not screw it up
Play full out and have fun with the screw ups
Sacred Laughter
Learning to recognize when you feel less whole
What gets in the way of your potential
Shadow work mixed with meditation
Waiting to open up until you trust someone
Wariness begets wariness
Trying to protect yourself actually pushes people away
Being less approachable, intimidating
Pushing away people that actually want to help
Becoming a retreat, seminar or workshop junkie
How to melt shame
Terminal uniqueness
Making things less significant without being dismissive
Don’t be a wound worshipper
Your secrets kill you -- get them “out there”
It’s not that bad when you put it out there
Having your friends help you see what is driving you
What are you scared of? What are you defending yourself against?
Notice what you’re avoiding
Can you be playful with that?
Tell someone what you’re scared of
Being more trustworthy
The energy drain of “keeping it all together”
Where the juice, depth and meaning in life is for you

Click here to listen.

3mistakesbox

Is Captain Paul Watson the Tyler Durden of the High Seas?

06/03/2009 10:47 AM

I watched a few episodes of Whale Wars recently and felt the same sickening feeling I felt when watching Fight Club for the first time. It’s the feeling of being seduced into doing good only to realize it feels oh, so bad.

Let’s take a look:

The premise is strong -- Killing whales is wrong.

The case is strong -- Japanese whalers are using a loophole in international law to hunt whales in a sanctuary. “What a bunch of assholes. Let’s get ‘em!”

Things start out great -- A young, naive crew follow their captain to “actually doing something about” these senseless killings because bureaucracy doesn’t save whales.

Righteousness seeps in -- “Our subversive actions are justified NO MATTER WHAT because we are always right and they are always wrong -- no matter what.”

Ummmm...okay, but...isn’t that the same circular logic employed by radical fundamentalists around the world? Does that thinking actually promote progress?

Then the whole thing smells like shit -- The Captain shames members of his crew for not being willing to risk their lives for the cause and (IMO) fakes being shot by the japanese whalers (a brilliant publicity stunt).

I appreciate his willingness to do almost anything to save whales (anything except what he’s asking his crew members to physically do -- this guy is no Captain James T. Kirk), but somewhere something got lost. Credibility? Dignity? Integrity?

Do these character qualities matter when the cause is seemingly bigger than the man?

What do you think? Is Captain Paul Watson the Tyler Durden of the high seas?

paul-watson

Tripp Lanier Tries to Pull His Head Out of His Ass

06/02/2009 10:47 AM

Tripp Lanier -- The Dangers of “Not Enough”

In this episode, the tables are turned and New Man host, Tripp Lanier is the one being interviewed. He recently stepped into a deeper level of practice, and guest interviewer Ray Brejcha prods and pokes to find out what is going on.

Tripp talks about his recent experiences, including The Mankind Project’s New Warrior Training Adventure as well as a 7-day Hollow Bones Zen Meditation retreat. The discussion touches on life transitions, stepping into the unknown, and honoring your potential as a man. It also focuses on the deeper issues that lead to living a satisfied life when so much of our inner wiring is saying “not enough”.

Click here to listen.

In episode 1:
• Why Tripp hosts the show
• Life Transition
• Letting go of identities
• Living with a boat anchor tied to the leg
• Five years of darkness
• Honoring your potential
• Stepping into uncertainty
• How to trust uncertainty
• Walking out on to an icy lake
• Feeling challenged by life and loving it
• Following the feeling of being alive
• Mankind Project New Warrior Training
• Hollow Bones Zen Retreat
• Resistance to mythopoetic men’s work
• Iron John by Robert Bly
• Jun Po Roshi
• Goenka Vipassana
• Part of me may die
• Noticing where you’re guarded
• Being less open
• Being defensive
• Boundaries vs Resistance or a Wall
• Not being able to receive compliments or gratitude
• “Don’t beat your own drum”
• Missing out on receiving love and appreciation
• Hitting the wall
• Fear of never being satisfied
• Not enough -- No matter what I do it won’t be enough
• Not able to celebrate success
• Wanting to feel more secure in the face of the unknown
• Meditation -- the part of you that can’t be taken away or destroyed
• Cultivating a sense within that is secure
• Will I still be ok?
• Confronting the hard realities of life and still being ok
• The Tao
• Samadhi
• Soul exfoliation -- peeling off layers
• Getting cooked
• Sitting in resistance

Click here to listen.

3mistakesbox

Living Colour's Vernon Reid Interviewed on The New Man!

05/26/2009 08:26 AM

Vernon Reid - Opening Your Mind to What Matters

Not many guitarists come close to having Vernon Reid’s resume:

Grammy Winner
Platinum Selling Artist
Complete badass virtuoso in jazz, funk, r&b, metal, punk, etc.
Shared the stage and studio with Carlos Santana, The Rolling Stones, Public Enemy, etc.

He’s a chameleon, but how does he escape categorization or the limiting beliefs that restrain so many people? Where does he find “the juice”? And how is playing with the Stones just as exciting as having his lost wallet returned? Listen to this lively discussion where Vernon discusses finding your own voice, using mortality as inspiration and finding wild moments in your everyday life.

Listen to the show here.

In this episode:

Avoiding categorization -- being put into a box
Keeping the focus on what you love
Marching to the beat of your own drum
Anthrax vs Burt Bacharach
Music is about diving into the human experience
Unique expression of “their moment”
Learning how to listen to music
Listen without judging
James Brown
The Beatles
The Rolling Stones
Dave Clark 5
Sly Stone
Jimi Hendrix
Carlos Santana
Frank Zappa
Music that black people listen to vs what white people listen to
Disclipline and practicing
At first playing was awful, frustrating
Little breakthroughs lead to big breakthroughs
Learning how to be with frustration
As a father seeing disclipline in younger generations
Instant gratification vs hard work
Trying to remove risk from the equation of life
“Inside of your struggle is your sound”
Comfort and convenience can take away from your voice
Avoiding and distracting ourselves from mortality
Using mortality and frustration to live the moment
People want to avoid what sucks
Shortcuts mean no individuality
Great people all struggled
Finding your voice without fixing it or perfecting it
Jeff Beck shows us how to be ourselves
The Edge from U2
Henry Rollins hates U2
Johnny Marr, The Smiths “How Soon is Now”
Walter Becker from Steely Dan
Having your own sound/voice is more important than technique
Realizing your own voice
Ronald Shannon Jackson
Fusion -- Jazz and Rock
Carlos Santana, John McLaughlin & Robert Fripp (King Crimson)
The Decoding Society
The Who “I hope I die before I get old”
Older men still in “the young man’s” game of rock
The importance of living in the moment and projecting yourself into the future
Being fascinated with young people - prettiest, sexual peak
The only constant is change vs The more the things change, the more they stay the same
Science Fiction and his fascination with gear
Forbidden Planet & The Day the Earth Stood Still
Where’s my Jet Pack?
The future was supposed to be dope
I want my hovering skateboard
The sexual culture is buckwild
How does life measure up to your dreams?
Having his wallet returned just as big as playing with The Rolling Stones
Hearing his daughter read
The “little stuff” is massive
It’s about the wild moments
We’re bored with life
Giraffes
Elephants are bad motherfuckers
We overlook the familiar
The quotidian things mean a lot
Mortality makes us live more
Being inspired by the people in our lives
The overemphasis of being results oriented
The danger of losing “the journey”
All the girls you ever slept with are going to pass away
We’re only here for a little while
George Carlin
The planet is going to be fine
Really taste this moment in life
A last time for everything
Your last orgasm

Listen to the show here.

Living Colour’s new album “The Chair in the Doorway” for August 2009
http://www.livingcolourmusic.com/

Vernon Reid on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Vernon-Reid/8952432625

Vernon Reid on MySpace
http://www.myspace.com/vernonreid

Vernon Reid on Twitter
http://twitter.com/vurnt22

Artificial Afrika at World Financial Center Multimedia Project
http://www.giganticartspace.com/artificialafrika/

“What We Got” Documentary
http://onthecommons.org/content.php?id=2029

3mistakesbox

Tripp Lanier endorses Alcohard - Keep Your Junk Up When You Pound the Booze Down

05/20/2009 06:05 PM

Yet another opportunity to witness my classically trained acting chops. This time in an advertisement for Alcohard -- a little pill you take for getting a boner after you’ve had too much to drink.

Watch it below and enjoy. Remember to watch Sex God Rock n Roll!

Bust Out of the Cultural BS and Follow Your Own Path

05/19/2009 02:07 PM

Sera Beak -- Bust Out of the Cultural BS and Follow Your Own Path

Spiritual Cowgirl and author Sera Beak joins us on the New Man Podcast to discuss what it means to be Red-volutionary. She’s the author of “The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark”.

In this episode we talk about how spirituality can be a bit stuffy or pretentious. Sera drives home the point that it’s about following your true passions and interests. Being “spiritual” isn’t about following some set of rules -- it’s about fiercely being yourself.

And that takes guts.

If you’re NOT interested in the whole “spiritual” scene, this discussion may light you up. We talk about rebellion, sex, thigh high boots, great food and a few of the things the Bible warned us about.

Listen here.

In this episode:

The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark
The Spiritual Cowgirl
Unorthodox approach to spirituality
Being your self is the essence of being spiritual
Pretentious Spiritual Types
Sera Beak is Satan
Disturbing the Buddhists
Don’t be provocative just for the sake of being provocative
Provoke with compassion
Be your authentic self
Reclaiming spirituality from those who have made it boring
Brazilian bikini waxed prayers
Trying to fit into external expectations of what is spiritual
How to get real and present
Inside out spirituality vs cookie-cutter spirituality
Living from a larger place is a turn on to others
Where do men base their value? If it’s from the inside it is sexy
Doesn’t have to be esoteric or woo-woo
Why is it so hard to answer the question, “who am I?”
Cultural expectations, rules and cues
Not necessary to read a ton of books or go to workshops
Stop following the crowd unconsciously
Standing out from the crowd
Social resistance doesn’t mean it’s wrong
Perseverance
How giving birth is painful but not wrong
Growing and learning to be yourself can be uncomfortable
Discern what pain means you’re going down the wrong road and what pain is part of the process of growing
How are we different from other cultures?
Becoming who we are is the natural human condition
Westerners are lucky
Privilege of being able to pursue spirituality in life
Make the most of the privilege
What is “red”?
REDvolutionary
Spiritual Super-heroines
Sex toys, good wine and gold body glitter
Fashion
Humor
Green vs Red
Humping Trees vs Hugging Trees
Making love to all existence
Fist-f##ked by Mother Nature
Where to men fit in?
Masculine and Feminine doesn’t necessarily mean Male or Female
Being more passionate, playful and authentic
Fierce love knows no gender
Bringing the feminine back to spiritual practice
What is sexy?
The danger “spiritual” ways of being
The Devil Wears Crocs
Thigh High Boots
What the hell is “red” for me?
Sera’s Offerings

Listen here.

3mistakesbox

Take a Stand for Your Sexual Needs

05/19/2009 01:53 PM

Sandor Gardos Part 2 -- Take a Stand for Your Sexual Needs

This is part 2 of our talk with Dr. Sandor Gardos. In this episode he continues to lay out some simple distinctions and the practices you can do TODAY to quit settling for a crappy sex life without killing your marriage.

Check it out here.

(Thanks to Marvin Gaye for the “Sexual Healing” -- It’s kinda hard to imagine a woman not wanting to bone this incredible man.)

In this show:

Women’s arousal pattern is different than men’s
Why she doesn’t initiate sex
Get over the myth of reciprocity in sex
Women want to feel deeply desired by their partner
Not just deeply desiring to “get off” with her
Make the passion about her, not just about “getting off”
What if you no longer desire your partner?
Don’t be afraid to get outside help -- qualified sex therapist
Go to a sex therapist vs “regular” psychologist
AASECT.org
SSTARNET.org
Don’t overdo “closeness”
Avoiding conflict, being the peacemaker
Non-violent communication
Balancing domesticity with sexual passion
Don’t get neutered
Harmony can reduce passion
What are you doing to remove the spark from your relationship?
Where’s my desire in this moment? Own it.
Vulnerability means speaking what you wants
Vulnerability is taking risks
Take your woman “on a ride”
Do something where you don’t know how she’s going to respond
When and how to talk to her if this stuff isn’t working
Accept that you have different styles -- doesn’t mean you’re wrong
Remove the blame and shame
Why women have sex
What if she doesn’t care about sex?
Your sexual needs matter -- don’t cut it off
Keep it simple and stick to the basics
MyPleasure.com -- products and education

Check it out here.

3mistakesbox

Tripp Gets Some Nipple Action on National TV

05/18/2009 09:18 PM

While I was tucked away in the mountains for a (grueling) weeklong Zen Meditation retreat, my image and likeness were broadcast across the nation and beyond.

Doing what?

Oh nothing -- just fondling the nipple of the androgynous “Pink Lady with Big Balls” played by Stu Davis.

Watch it below.

PS Dear Dad, I hope you understand. It’s supposed to be funny.

Andro-Genius from Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll on Vimeo.

Got Blue Balls? Get Your Sex Life Off of Life Support

05/05/2009 11:52 AM

Sandor Gardos -- Get Your Sex Life Off of Life Support

Are you like my monkey-friend here -- suffering from blue balls? What’s the deal with this myth that marriage is the death to your sex life? Does it have to be this way? Do you have to spend the rest of your days sneaking around with porn or affairs to get your sexual needs met?

In this episode, Dr. Sandor Gardos returns to The New Man to lay out some very simple things you can do to get the sexual juices flowing in your committed relationship.

Check it out here.

In this show:

Oprah’s Vah-J-J
Vibrator called “The Sure Thing”
The Aphrodite
Oprah makes it ok to use sex toys
It’s now mainstream to take an active role in making sex lives better
Myth: Sex life is over after marriage
Chris Rock
Married life = death of sex
Repressing sexual desire
Turning to porn
Having affairs
What can this guy do?
Not a myth that sex changes in marriage
Being passive won’t make it better
Probably not as bad as you think it is
Desire discrepancy
Most common thing sex therapists deal with in couples
Polarizing sex
Couples are closer to sexual desires than perception
Taking it personally that she doesn’t want to have sex
Perceived rejection
Coping mechanisms
Shutting off desire -- clamping it off
Not being alive as a man when cutting off sexual desire
Trying to “keep the peace” doesn’t serve the relationship
Resentment is almost irreversible
Avoiding anger actually builds resentment
What a guy can do to turn this around
Simple techniques
Change the dynamic
It’s not always that the guy wants all the sex
For half of couples, the woman wants more sex
Non-goal oriented sensuality
Keep her guessing
Sex is no longer about ejaculation
Neediness is not attractive
Build arousal and passion
Getting out of the sexual routine
Routine is the enemy of passion
Novelty is an aphrodisiac
Small changes can have a big impact

Check it out here.

3mistakesbox

Is Your Life on Autopilot?

04/28/2009 09:29 AM

Authentic Man Program founders, Decker Cunov and Bryan Bayer return to The New Man Podcast this week to give us a sneak preview into AMP 2.0 -- their new program designed to help guys get their whole life in order.

Is your life on autopilot?

Looking back, we can see how millions of small decisions made by thousands of people managed to put our economy in the toilet. It’s this disconnect or inability to see how our “small” actions impact not just ourselves but the rest as a whole.

So how are the little decisions you make daily -- places where you’re just rolling along on autopilot -- creating a doomsday scenario for you?

Where are you asleep at the wheel? How would you know?

The guys at AMP (Authentic Man Program) are here to talk about a new program that is less focused on relating with women and all about getting your entire life on the right track.

You won’t do it alone, but you just may have a blast.

Check out the episode here.

In this episode we discuss:

AMP -- No longer just focusing on relating with women
Focusing on living an inspiring life
Are you lit up by your life?
This leads to great success with women
It’s about living an amazing life as a whole
Shitty economy as a motivator for living with more integrity
Micro-breaks in integrity
Just going with the flow
Allowing things to just happen even if we’re not in alignment with them
Shows us how important integrity is individually and collectively
Little things add up and impact all of us
What is the impact of my actions on other people?
Being disconnected from the things that make a huge impact in our life
Being on autopilot in your life
Taking things for granted
Being disconnected from our decisions means it is easier to be out of integrity
Recognizing how our actions impact others
Seeing where in our lives we’re “going through the motions”
Helping people see where they’re sleepwalking
Challenging each other, having fun, lighting a fire under our ass
How do I know if I’m sleepwalking?
Do the things I do nourish me?
People around us can support us in our sleepwalking
Getting more explicit about why you do what you do
Getting clear about what you really care about
Enjoying yourself more as part of the process
Recognizing what is already amazing in your life
If I’m really happy in my life I don’t need to buy a bunch of stuff
Save money by being happier with what you already have
Being needy means being out of relationship to what really matters to you
Consumerism: Buying stuff to fill a hole in your life
Using people to feel better about yourself
Getting in touch with what is most important
Waking up out of your own sleepwalking
Relating with women as a metaphor for living your life
Who is AMP 2.0 for?
Back to basics: getting finances together, taking care of your body, improving your living situation
Clearing out emotional, mental, relational leaks that drain you of energy
Reclaiming energy instead of just trying to get by
No man left behind, price is not a barrier to participate
What are guys really challenged by, what do they want to learn?
7 week online course
Kicking Tripp’s ass for fun

Check out the episode here.

3mistakesbox

Yeah Dave Romanelli and The Power of Pleasure

04/21/2009 03:15 PM

“The Power of Pleasure”

If money can’t buy happiness then where do we find it? The answer is in life’s simple pleasures. It sounds like a cliche, but the truth is that we’ve trained ourselves to multitask and split our attention across many different arenas. The cost? We don’t take the time to truly experience and enjoy our day and it’s contents.

We’re so focused on finding relief in the future that we’re forgetting about the moment we’re living in -- now.

Our culture and its expanding arena of attention-grabbers like facebook and twitter make it more challenging to just have a glass of wine or a simple meal. For instance, we’re finding it increasingly necessary to eat AND read email AND watch TV.

According to “Yeah Dave” Romanelli, a former PR agent for Shaquille O’Neal we can create a short checklist of things to focus on throughout the day -- Humor, Something Delicious and the Beauty all around us. This will ultimately have a big, positive impact.

Check out the podcast here.

In this episode we discuss:

Jeff Spicoli and Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Technology Addiction
Continuous Partial Attention
Washington Post Experiment -- Joshua Bell, violinist in the subway
How meditation is hard
Getting kicked out of a meditation retreat
ADHD
Bad energy is worse than body odor
The Likability Factor
Laughter is the way to get the panties off of a girl
Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead
India
Creating spaciousness in your mind creates spaciousness in your life

Make the Outcomes of Your Goals Inevitable

04/15/2009 04:41 PM

Most of the time, when we decide we want to make a change in our life we set a goal. For example, Joe wants to lose 10 pounds by July 1st. Good for Joe.

So the next thing Joe may consider is all of the things he’ll have to do to change his current behavior to accomplish this goal. Stuff like, “Eat balanced meals, avoid sweets and exercise regularly.”

All good stuff and it makes sense, right? However, it requires willpower, and honestly -- do YOU believe Joe is really gonna follow through with this? Given what little info we know about Joe, it’s easy to assume he probably won’t. Call me a pessimist, but if I’m gonna put my money on this bet I want to see more than willpower fueling the engine.

Now. What if Joe asked himself, “What do I need to do to make my desired outcome -- losing 10 pounds -- INEVITABLE?” Meaning, how can I make it almost impossible that it WON’T happen?

The answer may be something like, “work with a personal trainer 3 times a week, have balanced meals delivered to my door each day, have an accountability partner that I check in with daily, etc.”

Instead of relying merely on willpower, Joe has set up his environment to succeed. In fact, it’ll be hard not to lose weight with all of those factors in play. Setting these factors up also shows the deep commitment he has to the outcome. I have no problem betting on Joe now. Do you?

I got this huge insight and distinction from watching this video with Eben Pagan. He discusses this reframe in the last quarter of the video. Good stuff.

Watch it here.

So. What are your goals? Now what would you do to make the outcomes you want inevitable?

3mistakesbox

Cover Your Ass

04/14/2009 01:37 PM

Times are tough which means identity theft is on the rise. This is a killer deal. I use Trusted ID and recommend it.

Click here to get 15% off of Trusted ID’s services.

Now, back to our regularly schedule program...

3mistakesbox

How to Build Attraction and Deeper Connections - FAST.

04/14/2009 09:33 AM

If a guy ever tells you he doesn’t get nervous when approaching a beautiful woman, he’s probably full of shit. Even the guys who teach this stuff get nervous. Meet Ray Brejcha -- coach, speaker and workshop facilitator. He specializes in helping men create attraction and find deeper connections with women.

Click here to listen.

Click here to learn more about The Red Pill Weekend.

In this episode, Ray will talk about what’s possible by attending the Red Pill Weekend.

Topics in this episode:

Creating Attraction
Deeper Connections
Being the nerd
Being the guy who has it all but is feels empty
How to get beyond small talk
Concentrating on outer appearances to cover up insecurities
Using women to fill a void
Following a hunch instead of having it all figured out
The importance of feedback from men and women
The value of having solid men in your life
Killing attraction -- being needy, wishy washy or being fearful of rejection
Being clear with your desire
How core beliefs sabotage you -- “I don’t deserve this”, “I’m not enough”
How so many “successful” men have a difficult time with women
Settling for less vs going for what you want
How taking risks builds attraction
What to expect at The Red Pill Weekend

Check out Stuart Davis and Sex God Rock n Roll

04/10/2009 10:22 AM

Prepare to be offended AND enlightened. My boy Stu has hit a home run with Sex God Rock n Roll -- a TV show appearing on HDNet as well as online at this site: http://www.sexgodrocknroll.com

Here’s an ad from one of the show’s “sponsors”.

In-Shape Worm from Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll on Vimeo.

3mistakesbox

Stuart Davis on HDNET!

04/07/2009 12:24 PM

Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll : New Comedy Series Debuts On HDNet

Zen Buddhist-indie rocker Stuart Davis is launching a new comedy series: Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll. Season One of of this ground-breaking tv show debuts April 26 on HDNet across the U.S. and Canada. Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll is written, directed, and hosted by Stuart Davis, and features edgy humor from the open-hearted maniac. Each episode follows Stu performing stand up comedy, news, sketches, and his acclaimed music. A twisted mind and a sensitive soul, Davis has made a career out of parsing tricky topics, and Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll finds this 'Punk Monk' at his multi-faceted best.

“We are excited to welcome Stuart Davis and Sex, God, Rock ‘n Roll to HDNet. Stuart is one of a kind, and we are thrilled he is on HDNet.”
-Mark Cuban, President of HDNet

Davis has studied his heroes (Ricky Gervais, Amy Sedaris, Jon Stewert), but is finding a unique voice with his 'spiritual' brand of comedy. SGR&R is a delirious dive into life's Mysteries through the mind of a Cosmo-centric comedian. It's no wonder Davis has become known as the Twisted Mystic.

"Without exaggeration, Stuart Davis is one of the most fascinating and exceptional songwriters in modern music."
-San Jose Metro

While Davis is a happily hyphenated artist (writer-director-actor-comedian-songwriter), he's first known for his music. The sound track to Season One of SGR&R ('Songs From The TV Series') is being released simultaneously with the debut of the tv show. The first single, Twisted Mystery, hits radio in April and is also featured on Showtime in the series I Can't Believe I'm Still Single. Davis will be touring nationally through the summer to promote the TV series and the new collection of pop songs.

"Not since Bob Dylan burst through has Minnesota produced such a confident and creative songwriter and social observer."
-Minneapolis Star Tribune

Filmed in HD in front of a live audience in Boulder, Colorado (take that, Mork & Mindy!), SGRR will also have a web-based home at www.sexgodrocknroll.com where fans can find exclusive content for members only. The SGR&R subscription site includes interviews with spiritual figures, unreleased sketches, and regular vlogs from Stu.

"Davis may be the best songwriter you've never heard of."
-Des Moines Register

Sex, God, Rock 'n Roll airs Sundays on HDNet beginning April 26.

"Davis subtly sneaks religious dialogue into popular culture. Most surprisingly, the music is damn good. Critics, you can sigh with relief."
-Miami New Times

3mistakesbox

Red Pill Weekend is ON! May 30-31

04/07/2009 11:05 AM

Ray Brejcha and crew are back with the powerful Red Pill Weekend. If you’re single or in a relationship you’ll definitely want to check out this fun, experiential workshop.

Learn more here.

From the site:

Ask yourself these questions. Be honest.

Are you tired of feeling frustrated or confused with women?
Are you sick of coming home from work every day feeling burned out, unsatisfied, like you’re wasting your life in a job that doesn’t tap into your full potential?
Are you tired of trying too hard to meet the right woman?
Are you sick of feeling shut down when you start to feel attraction or sexual desire around a woman?

It’s time to take charge of your life once and for all. You owe it to yourself.

Stay tuned for an interview with Red Pill founder, Ray Brejcha on The New Man.

3mistakesbox

What Really Matters to YOU? Jeremy Geffen on The New Man

04/07/2009 11:04 AM

Dr. Jeremy Geffen returns to discuss his incredible vision quest in the mountains of Columbia.

Are you lacking any motivation or direction beyond paying the bills?

Do you have any idea what MATTERS to you? How would you even find out what that is?

Listen to Jeremy talk about how this arduous ritual smacked him in the face with reality -- beyond paying the bills and being someone special.

You don’t have to wait to lose your job or your life in order to benefit from losing it all.

Check out Part 2 here.

3mistakesbox

Can Money Buy Happiness?

03/31/2009 04:06 PM

Some would say that being a successful doctor or professional is a meaningful lifetime achievement. “If I could be that, I’d be set!” Well, what does it mean when one of the most successful oncologists in the world is struggling for life meaning and direction? What does HE do to get answers?

Instead of buying another Porsche, this doctor went to the mountains of Columbia to take part in a sacred, age-old ritual -- the vision quest. After strenuous preparations, he was “planted” on top of a mountain alone for four days and nights without food, water or shelter. He withstood torrential downpours and extreme conditions but he did not leave his post.

Why would a guy do this?

Listen to Dr. Jeremy Geffen, author of The Journey Through Cancer: Healing and Transforming the Whole Person talk about this amazingly difficult journey.

And ask yourself, “What would my life be like if I were willing to leave it all behind?”

Check out Part 1 here.

3mistakesbox

Why do men surf porn?

03/26/2009 06:13 PM

Are you into porn? Of course you’re not. That’s all of the other billions of guys enjoying adult entertainment.

Check out this great and informative article from Revolutionary Man and friend Jayson Gaddis.

The Number 1 Reason why so many boys and grown men surf porn (and what to do about it).

3mistakesbox

Quit the Blame Game and Step Up -- Kute Blackson Part 2 on The New Man

03/24/2009 01:19 PM

Kute Blackson continues downloading his 6 Step Process for getting your life out of fear and into gear.

In this series he describes the pitfalls guys get into when life trips them up -- analysis paralysis, the blame game -- and how you can move through them and into positive action.

It’s times like these that separate the men from the boys. What will you do?

Check out Part 2 here.

3mistakesbox

What I've Learned #463: Quit Procrastinating and Get S#@t Done

03/20/2009 02:35 PM

Procrastination is a bitch and one reason why it happens is because our time management skills are sucking. A lot of guys I coach don’t know about GTD -- the Getting Things Done system. It’s definitely for geeks and people into hyper-structured stuff. It might be for you.

But you really don’t need to adopt a big ass system.

If you just can’t seem to get shit done here’s a quick tip (If you really can’t get it done check this out):

Get Specific -- Take something like “learn how to cook” and break it down into specific, measurable tasks. Anytime you keep things in the grey area of uncertainty you give yourself a way to fudge. Make things black-and-white and you can make progress and build momentum.

For instance, “learn how to cook” becomes “learn how to cook spaghetti”.
Task 1: Go online and find recipe
Task 2: Get ingredients at store
Task 3: Set up time to prep
Task 4: Cook the damn thing
Task 5: Dine
Task 6: Say “Hell yeah”

Get the picture? Each task is specific and measurable. Did you complete it? If yes, you move on. Dig?

By When? -- I’ve found it really helpful to add a “by when” or “due date” and a guess-timation of how long it will take. This is helpful for tasks I’m not crazy about or will have a tendency to push.

If I can look at a specific task and see that I’ve got to knock it out by Friday at 2 and it should only take me 30 minutes, I’m more likely to just do it. It keeps my brain from making it more complex than it is.

Bonus -- Actually set that time aside on your calendar to do it. If you think it’ll take 30 minutes, block that out on your schedule and don’t let it slide. This way, it IS the priority and it will get done.

Bonus 2 -- Make yourself accountable to others. Telling someone else that you’re going to get something done by a certain time is very helpful. Tell a friend, your men’s group or a coach and have them check on you to make sure you followed through. Throw a little skin in the game and come up with a consequence for not following through ($20 to your rival team’s foundation, etc.)

Resources -- I use Things Desktop and Things Touch to keep my tasks organized. This frees up a ton of my mental space to be more present and creative.

Aloha!

3mistakesbox

Get Out of Fear and Put Your A$$ in Gear -- Kute Blackson on The New Man

03/17/2009 12:06 PM

Life coach to the stars, Kute Blackson is back on The New Man, and he’s just in time. Many listeners are dealing with a ton of fear these days -- finances, career and the world in general all seem to be going to hell in a hand basket.

But what can YOU do about it, right now?

Kute walks us through a powerful 6 Step Process to cut the crap and make your life better -- regardless of the world outside.

Check out Part 1 here.

3mistakesbox

What I've Learned #238: Don't Force Your Passion to Pay the Bills

03/12/2009 01:22 PM

“Follow your Bliss”
“Follow Your Heart”
“Live Your Passion”

Do you read that kind of stuff and think, “Yeah, right. And then I’ll be living on the streets, smelling like piss and indian food while begging for spare change.”

Most of the clients I see are “waking up” to a new possibility. What does that mean? Well, it means they see that their lives could be much different. Instead of merely holding down their shitball job and paying the bills, they could live a life that invigorates them and infuses their actions with meaning.

Most of us are too ignorant to challenge the status quo of driving a metal coffin to an office everyday, performing tasks over and over, tolerating d-bag after d-bag all so we can get two weeks off a year. To do what? Clean out the garage?

It’s a big leap.

But, once a guy realizes there’s more to offer in this lifetime, usually the first thing to hit the chopping block is his job. Reasonable enough, right?

The second thing he wants to do is have his newly revealed passion (teaching, bass fishing, cabinet repair, curing cancer, coaching little league, whatever) be THE thing that pays his bills.

Pause.

I don’t know where it was written, but for some reason we’ve got this script that our passion/purpose has to fund our passion/purpose/lifestyle.

It does not HAVE to.

For some it works out great, and I highly recommend investigating that possibility. But for most, it’s not really feasible and somewhere along the way a soul gets crushed. A dream gets dashed.

This is limiting thinking. It doesn’t need to be this way.

Try this on:

(1) Get Clear: Get clear about what it is you’re passionate about. What do you want to do *as* this person you’re living in this lifetime? What wants to be expressed *as* you? If you don’t know, perhaps that could become your purpose.

(2) Zoom out: Consider how everything in your life supports this. Does your partner support this? Does your job support this? Your location? Your body? Your friends and family? Your habits? How does everything in your life contribute to or diminish your pursuit?

(3) Course Correct: Make a list of stuff to change. Create a vision where all of your people, places and actions are contributing to your passion/purpose. And yes, if that job sucks the marrow of life from your bones, then by all means find an alternative.

Note: Nothing in there said you HAD to quit your day job and make your passion your main source of income. Many times a guy “leaves it all behind” to set off on a new course only to find that he’s ill-equipped. The pressures of this new scenario cripple him -- they diminish his ability to pursue this dream or passion. Although this scenario makes for good TV, it’s usually ungrounded and typically uninspiring.

I’ve seen it quite a few times -- especially in the music industry -- where financial scarcity interfered in the creative process and screwed the pooch. The impact was more stress and less fulfillment even though on the surface a guy was “living the dream” like some kind of martyr.

(Consider Mike Rowe’s Dirty Job reflections in this video. I think he’s mistakenly limited it to an either/or scenario. I’m proposing a both/and scenario.)

Like I said, some people thrive with that pressure/influence and some don’t.

I don’t.

Case in point: I was 22 years old and very passionate about my music career. I was also clear that I did NOT want to live in a van eating gas station food for the next ten years trying to “make it”. I knew I wanted to make records on my own terms and I knew I could spend more of my time doing what I actually loved instead of reflexively chasing the dream.

Video editing was a craft that I loved doing and was a means for me to have a flexible schedule while making some good money. It also kept me around studios and musicians. It contributed to my love of creating music. The work itself did not “kill me”. I had energy left over to be creative musically. And most importantly, for me, the financial strain was gone which kept me in a very creative place.

This scenario worked for me. It supported and contributed to a very creative and prolific time of my life, and my relationship to my video business was positive because I knew it directly impacted what I was most passionate about -- the music.

Video editing was not a job. It was the means to be a creative and free artist.

So, if you’re on the path to creating more purpose and meaning in your life, watch out for any pitfalls that have you believing you need to jump ship financially before you can follow your dream. It’s bullshit. If it doesn’t fit, don’t force your passion to pay the bills. Get creative and challenge what is possible. Be willing to challenge everything and everyone in your life -- most importantly those limiting thoughts. Don’t make it an either/or proposition.

This is where a coach can help. :-)

Good luck.

3mistakesbox

What Are You Running Away From? Stuart Davis Pt 2 on The New Man

03/11/2009 02:36 PM

This week we’ve got Part 2 of our very entertaining AND very practical talk with Stuart Davis. In this episode we discuss how the things we’re working so hard to avoid are usually what offer the greatest opportunities for growth and freedom.

Who woulda thunk?

This is also a great series for new husbands and fathers as Stu shares his story about becoming both -- after he’d made a vow to do neither. (That makes sense, right?)

Check out Part 2 here.

Be sure to listen to Part 1 here.

PS Yeah. That’s Stu in the photo. It’s my favorite.

3mistakesbox

Are you a "commitment-phobe"? Stuart Davis on The New Man Podcast

03/03/2009 01:04 PM

Are you afraid of commitment? Do you fear any form of authority as if it’ll strike down the possibility for fun, creativity or enjoyment (or sex with another woman)?

Well, if this resonates for you then you’ll definitely relate to Stuart Davis -- rock star and host of “Sex, God, Rock n Roll”.

This is without a doubt the funniest show we’ve done so far, but you’ll also appreciate hearing how Stu went from someone who broke the rules at every corner to settling down with a wife and family.

It just damn near killed him; however, now he’s more dedicated to his creative life than ever.

Check out Part 1 with Stuart Davis here. Learn how a guy can be “spiritual” and tell dick jokes.

3mistakesbox

Shawn Phillips: What's the difference between men and boys?

03/02/2009 08:47 AM

Just got this from Shawn this morning. Great (short) read. How does this impact you?

Check it out here.

3mistakesbox

What I've Learned #667: Remember Death

02/28/2009 05:44 PM

My friend Stuart Davis has a tattoo on his wrist. It says “memento mori” which means, remember death.

A lot of us are asleep at the wheel in our lives. Living as if, “someday I’m gonna get around to doing this or that.”

Bullshit.

Do it today. If you can’t, do *something* that makes a chin-hair’s worth of progress towards it. No holding back. No waiting for the perfect time.

Reason being, this could be THAT day. THE day. The one that you can bet your ass will come. The last one.

If at midnight tonight you were going to die, what have you done today that would make you proud that it was your last?

Remember death as a friend that helps you get the most out of life.

3mistakesbox

Group Coaching Offer

02/26/2009 03:02 PM

Hello Friends and New Man listeners.

Many of you are struggling with certain areas of your life:

Finances
Relationships
Career Concerns
Life Purpose
An general concern about what the hell you’re doing with your life

Regarding the list above, I receive many inquiries about one-on-one coaching; however, the price for one-on-one sessions is usually too expensive for some of you.

I’m creating an alternative that utilizes the power of working with a group.

For a much lower price, you can participate in a weekly coaching group call with five other participants. Each week, you will receive one-on-one coaching with me while also benefiting by listening to the other participants’ coaching and challenges.

The cost? $99 for four weekly meetings. I will be raising the price for the next group to $150 per month.

Here’s the nitty gritty:

Each call is roughly 1.5 hours
6 participants per call
Each participant gets at least 10 minutes of time completely focused on him
Calls will be the same day/time each week (most likely in the evening)
Before each call, you’ll fill out a prep form to help you get the most from each call
Each week you’ll be given challenges and the group will hold you accountable
This is active coaching -- not a spectator sport
$99 for four weekly calls (less than $25 per coaching session)

In my experience, nothing has created more positive change than participating in these types of groups. Everything is up for discussion -- relationships, career, life direction, financial challenges, etc.

If you’re a guy who knows he needs to start making some positive changes, imagine where you could be in just 4 weeks with this kind of focus and support.

If you or anyone you know would like to learn more about group coaching, please click here and fill out the application.

I look forward to hearing from you,
Tripp

3mistakesbox

Do you have the balls to live the life of your dreams?

02/25/2009 02:47 PM

Do you?

Do you have the balls to actually say what that life would be?

Reason is -- if we’re not clear about the life we want, how can we expect the universe to just drop it in our lap? Quit the bitching and moaning and get clear about what you want.

Part 2 of our talk with Ubud-uber-badass Brian Johnson is now available. Listen in as we discuss how you can empower yourself in tough times to live the life of your dreams. Brian also shares the key ingredients to having the financial prosperity you desire.

Check it out here.

3mistakesbox

Amazing Offer from Holosync -- The Lazy Man's Way to Meditate

02/25/2009 02:38 PM

Check out this Free offer from New Man guest, Bill Harris at Holosync.

This is definitely one of -- if not THE -- best ways to start meditating.

3mistakesbox

Listen to Tripp Lanier on "Ask a Man"

02/24/2009 03:10 PM

LiYana Silver recently conducted a live panel with myself and Reid Mihalko. We answered all kinds of questions about sex and relationships to mostly women. Good stuff and I certainly learned a thing or two.

Listen to it here.
Download it here.

Be sure to check out LiYana’s amazing relationship work here.

3mistakesbox

Listen to Tripp Lanier on the Revolutionary Man

02/24/2009 03:06 PM

Listen to Jayson Gaddis interviewing me on The Revolutionary Man. Be sure to stop by his site and become a member.

Download the interview here.
Listen here.

Check out The Revolutionary Man here.

3mistakesbox

How to Meditate - A Down and Dirty Guide for Beginners

02/20/2009 08:38 AM

We’ve had quite a few guests on the show that when asked “What is the one thing a guy can do TODAY to start positively changing his life?” the answer is invariably “meditate.” Bill Harris, Ken Wilber, Kute Blackson and the AMP Men and Women are all on board.

Click here and here for more benefits.

I’m not a meditation expert or teacher. In fact, my practice is a bit shotty. However, I have been going at it for almost ten years, and my cushion dutifully waits just a few feet from my office chair everyday. It reminds me that, yes, this is the single best practice a person can do. Now take your seat!

Why Meditate? It’s pretty simple. Most everything we want in life -- more love, freedom, success or chocolate requires that we have clarity. Specifically clarity about what we want. Meditation provides tons of benefits, but for this context let’s just say it strengthens our integrity and the ability to be present.

So what? If I’m not *here* I can’t get *there.* If my mind is constantly wandering in the past or fantasy-future, then I’m unable to take action in the current moment -- the only one we’ve really got -- to create the life that I want. Meditation is a bicep-curl for our inner resolve and strength.

How’s that for a reason to give it a shot? Great. Here we go.

Step 1: If you’re on a Mac, download this nifty free Meditation Timer Widget or use any timer you may have. This is relevant to the integrity arena -- just sitting for a “while” leaves the door open for our saboteur to get us off the cushion. “Did I leave the iron on? I better check...” Nope. Pick a time and stick to it. Your ass doesn’t move until the timer goes “ding” or the fire department shows up.

Step 2: Find a comfortable place to sit. It’s important that your back is straight and upright. Many sit on a special cushion or a bench. For now, I’d recommend the forward part of a chair so you’re not slouching or leaning into the back.

Option two would be a few cushions on the ground -- enough so that your hips are higher than your knees when sitting cross legged. Imagine your spine is a stack of blocks each resting on the other. There’s no need to “muscle” it when sitting. Let the structure of your body actually hold you up.

Either way, find a method for sitting with your spine upright so that your attention can be on your practice and not the pain in your back. When I started out, I sat on some cushions with my back straight up against the wall.

Step 3: Set a time period. I would suggest twenty minutes. If this is too much, start at 5 and add a minute each day. Make it impossible not to follow through, but continue to push your edge. At one point I was sitting two hours a day. I feel confident you can do 20 minutes.

Step 4: Eliminate distractions. Turn off the phones, computer, facebook, twitter, your girl (I wish some of my ex-girlfriends had an on/off switch) -- anything that will ask for your attention. Again, make it impossible to fail. The world waited 4 billion years for you to arrive, it can stand another 20 minutes without you.

Step 5: Set your timer and take your seat. In the Meditation Timer Widget mentioned above I created a function to delay the start time of the session so you could get settled.

Step 6: Set Your Focus. It’s important to have a solid focus point -- your breath, the sensations in different areas of your body, a count of some sort. Having this “rock” gives your mind something solid to return to when it gets hijacked -- and you WILL get hijacked. No worries, just come back to your focus point. Again and again and again.

I’m going to list a couple of methods here. The point is to pick ONE and stick to it for the duration of the session. Don’t bounce around through various techniques. Take a few sessions to find the one that works best for you and commit to stick.

Follow Your Breath -- If your breath goes away, you’re dead. So this is a great rock to focus on. Specifically, find an area of your body like the inside of your nose or where the breath moves in and out of your torso to focus. In this method, it is about focusing on the sensations. Get curious and just observe the sensations.
Count Your Breaths -- There are various ways, but I’ve enjoyed saying “In” on the inhale and counting “One” on the exhale silently in my mind. This is very helpful for quieting my monkey brain.
Explore Body Sensations -- Same principle as above except pick a spot on your body that offers a sensation. For me, my hands are very noticeable when I’m quiet. I may just sit and feel the tingly energy moving around my palms and fingers.

There are a ton of techniques, but these are ones that I’ve found the most easy to use in the beginning.

Step 7: Start Your Session. You’ve closed your eyes. The timer has sounded and you’re off. You’ve picked a focus method above and you’re rolling. You remember you need to call so-and-so about that thing and, Shit! Stay cool. You got hijacked. Come back to your focus point. This will happen A LOT.

Our brain is an organ who’s function is to create thoughts and all kinds of crazy shit. Don’t try to go “head to head” with it. Accept it. This practice helps you with how you respond. Do you get sucked right in to the fantasy of the moment? Do you witness it and choose to stay on your focus point? When things go to hell, do you pitch a fit and quit? Or do you remain calm and trusting -- calmly and confidently returning to your focus?

It’s like life. Life is going to challenge you and work really hard to pull you off of your path or commitment. How will you respond? When you falter, recommit and keep moving forward.

This is where the big life training benefits of meditation come in. Inside our mind is a special ops training ground for doing our thing in the world. Use it for good, Young Jedi.

Next steps? Commit to meditating 30 days straight without interruption. If you miss a day or two, start the 30 day count again. Why? Give yourself a real chance to see the positive changes and benefits associated with this practice.

One session won’t do it, but a little each day can do a lot. Good luck.

UPDATE 2/25/09: If you’re serious about beginning a solid practice, check out this amazing offer from New Man guest, Bill Harris.

3mistakesbox

What would you do with your life if you were NOT afraid?

02/17/2009 10:55 AM

Seriously. What would you life look like if you weren’t afraid?

What decisions would you make?

Who would you hang out with?

Where would you live?

What career or purposeful endeavor would you pursue?

Listen to Part 1 of my talk with philosopher and entrepreneurial badass, Brian Johnson on The New Man Podcast. How did the founder of Zaadz and Philosophers Notes go from his cushy job, a five year relationship and all the trappings of life to living his dream in Bali?

Find out here.

3mistakesbox

Revolutionary Man interviews Tripp Lanier -- Call in!

02/17/2009 10:43 AM

Revolutionary Man, Jayson Gaddis will be interviewing me live this Thursday at 6pm (mountain time). Call in and ask questions. Jayson doesn’t *$%& around so I imagine he’s gonna grill me pretty good. :-)

For more info click here. I look forward to speaking with you.

3mistakesbox

Is your Job in Danger?

02/10/2009 06:29 PM

Are you about to lose your job?

Have you ALREADY you lost your job?

Are you like everyone else who is freaked out about making it through this financial shit-storm?

If so, you’ll definitely want to check out Part 2 of our talk with Steve Pavlina on The New Man Podcast.

Steve gives us some solid tips for turning this uncertainty into great opportunity.

Check it out here.

3mistakesbox

Tripp Lanier to be on "Ask a Man" Panel Wed Feb 18

02/06/2009 09:12 AM

This is from my dear friend, LiYana Silver. Check it out.
-- Tripp

Want to know what's in store for the future of men?
Want to know your options beyond the spiritualized wimp or the
macho jerk?
Want to know how to have a one-night stand with three smokin'
expert men - on the phone?

Well, I do, too! So, I've assembled this panel of expert men
to tackle these very questions - as well as YOUR questions.

And now they are at your service, for one night only!

Ask-A-Man
Your Burning Questions Answered by a a Panel of Expert Men

Wednesday, February 18, 2009
8:30pm - 9:45pm Eastern time
5:30pm - 6:45pm Pacific time

Panel Focus:
From Rough and Tough to Limp and Wimpy: Where Do Men
Go From Here?

To join this hot, informative tele-class, the last fr*ee
class of 2009 - use this link:
http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/teleseminar.html

They are experts now, extraordinary examples of integrated,
whole men - but it wasn't always that way.

Once "ordinary guys," these men struggled to find their way and
make sense of women, dating, relationships, commitment, sex,
aggression, power, spirituality and purpose.

Cuddle up with Reid Mihalko, coach, sex educator, co-founder of
the acclaimed Cuddle Party and creator of Speed Dating, whose
sex-positve projects and coaching give men and women the skills
and permission to share more honestly and powerfully about sex
and intimacy and to create the relationships that are their true
self-expression.

Get it straight from Tripp Lanier, coach and creator of the
wildly successful "The New Man" podcast show through Personal
Life Media, giving men cutting-edge information and support to
move beyond beyond being the "nice guy" without sacrificing any
of the good stuff - like smokin' relationships, rock-star sex
lives, successful careers and wildly rewarding lives.

And speak up with Decker Cunov, executive coach and co-founder/
lead facilitator of the Authentic Man Program, a
transformational seminar intensive designed for men to move past
their insecurities with women and the "pick-up" scene and gain
ease in relating with everyone in their lives as well as a deep
appreciation of themselves.

To get acquainted with the experts, use this link:
http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/manpanel.html

To learn more and register for the tele-class, use this link:
http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/teleseminar.html

Ever wish you were a fly on the wall in the mind of a man?
All those things you've been wondering about men, but never
found a way to ask?

Here's your chance to cover it all with a panel of experts in
the fields of dating, sex, relationship, understanding women,
commitment and masculinity.

Think of these guys as a cross between an older brother, an
experienced coach and a sexpert - all at your service. Join
this lively tele-class and have your burning questions answered
by a panel of expert men!

Yes, the tele-class is free, but you'll need to register to
reserve your space:
http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/teleseminar.html

I look forward to having you on the tele-class.

Enjoy, LiYana

PS: To invite a friend, use this link:
http://www.redefiningmonogamy.com/tellafriendaskaman.php

PPS: To check the time the tele-class will happen in YOUR
time zone, use this link:
http://www.timeticker.com

3mistakesbox

What I’ve Learned #367: Only Set Goals That Give You a Chub

02/04/2009 07:27 PM

I’ve set lots of goals. Some were super easy to knock out while others weren’t.

But what makes a goal more likely to fail? Is it because it’s too difficult, time consuming or demanding? Probably not. My guess is that if I’m not having success with a goal, I don’t really want the outcome in the first place.

In Episode 048 of The New Man, Steve Pavlina talks about only setting goals that truly inspire us.

So what does that mean? It means, only committing to goals that get the juices flowing, the heart pumping, the, err, member rising so to speak. If I’m not psyched about a goal and I’m only doing it because I “should” or it “sounds like a good idea” -- or worse “it’s the noble thing to do” -- it’s gonna drag ass. In the end, I’m not going to do it.

If the goal is exciting and has me feeling more alive, I’m gonna knock that $#@* out. And pronto.

What would it look like for you if you only committed to things you truly cared about? To hell with the rest.

So, what goals are you considering?

Now, which ones truly fire you up?

3mistakesbox

Steve Pavlina on The New Man!

02/03/2009 09:56 AM

The New Man welcomes Steve Pavlina to the show.

Steve is quite possibly the world’s most popular personal development blogger and author of “Personal Development for Smart People”.

Take a seat “dummies”.

In part one of our talk, Steve tells us about his personal history -- his shift from being a prolific shoplifter to running a successful game company. From leaving that business behind to write “the world’s best personal development blog”. This guy has lived a ballsy life.

He talks about:

Setting goals -- the ones you don’t achieve are the ones you don’t really give a shit about.
How living a “safe” life is like living in a locked box. (Get it, “safe”?)
How to go for what you really want in life -- even when times are tough.

If you’re interested in pulling that tail out from between your legs and going big, you’ll definitely want to check this out.

Click here to listen to The New Man with Steve Pavlina Part 1.

3mistakesbox

The Barack Shaka!

01/28/2009 10:50 AM

How cool is this? The new President rocking an impressive shaka.

Read more here...

3mistakesbox

Trusting Your Gut and more...

01/28/2009 10:41 AM

My friend Decker Cunov is on The New Man Podcast. This is more of a conversation than an interview where he and I discuss “following the path less traveled.” In crazy ass “times like these” it’s good to get grounded about what’s really important. You’ll want to check this one out.

We cover some of life’s more esoteric terrain --

How to trust your gut
When to push forward and when to relax
Allowing our time and energy to only go to the things that are truly important
What it’s like to pull back the veneer of “being polite” and actually get real

Check out Part 1 here.
Check out Part 2 here.

Be sure to visit TheNewManPodcast.com to discuss the shows with other listeners.

3mistakesbox

How to get out of a rut: Shawn Phillips Part 2 on The New Man

01/14/2009 10:47 AM

He’s BAAAAAAACK.

Shawn Phillips -- fitness guru, author and entrepreneur -- jumps back in to talk about how to get your ass out of a rut. There are some great points in this discussion. Check it:

How to live your life in "thirds" instead of halves.
How to shift to the new "s-curve" for your life.
Why there really is no reason for your belly to keep getting bigger.
What is the alternative to the "mid-life crisis?"
How to pick your peak season this year.
Are you in touch with the joy in your life?
The keys to reaching mastery
The one thing you can do today to get on the path of strength.

Check out part two here.

Check out Shawn’s book, Strength for Life here.

3mistakesbox

Are you a Revolutionary Man?

01/12/2009 01:37 PM

My man Jayson Gaddis is rocking The Revolutionary Man for “high achieving guys who are ready to take their game to the next level in life.” Jayson gears his work out there for the self-described Jedis. If you want intensity and serious results, check this out.

3mistakesbox

What are YOU tolerating in life? Shawn Phillips is BACK on The New Man

01/12/2009 01:29 PM

This is a kick ass talk. Shawn Phillips -- fitness guru, author and entrepreneur -- discusses how we can get to the brass tacks of life. I’m psyched to have Shawn on the show again. If you’re in the New Year’s Resolution phase (again) check this talk out. It’s cuts right to the chase with regard to your body, focusing your time and energy only on the things that matter and living a passionate life.

Check out part one here.

Check out Shawn’s book, Strength for Life here.

3mistakesbox

Rinzai Zen Master Jun Po Kelly Part 2 Available on The New Man

01/12/2009 01:22 PM

Man, I’m a bit slow returning to the flow after the New Year.

Be sure to check out Part 2 of our talk with Rinzai Zen badass Jun Po Kelly here. In this episode we talk about anger and reactivity -- about how our lives are constantly reacting to shit instead of making solid choices about WHAT WE WANT. Jun Po challenges us to see that there’s more to life than running around in a reactive mode.

Plus there’s a funny story about a big-ass chicken.

Check it out here.

3mistakesbox