Last Friday I was in LA and made it out to the DragonFly bar/theatre/thing to see Point Break Live! (the exclamation point is part of the name, but I was f’in excited just the same).

I think this weekend may be the last showing in SoCal as they’re heading out to Vegas for a while to hit the big time. So what? So if you’re within 100 miles of LA you gotta go. Seriously. I had a blast.

I don’t want to spoil the show which is a live rendition of the, uh, remarkable movie which starred Patrick Shwayze, Gary Busey and the inimitable Keanu Reeves. This show is so authentic that in order to “nail” Keanu’s performance, they recruit someone from the audience to play the part. Apparently no training or rehearsal is the best way to emulate this overlooked-by-the-academy-gem. Consequently, when I went it came down to me and another guy for Keanu’s part. I gotta say, I’m pretty relieved I didn’t make the cut.

Go, go, go. And buy the rain jacket they offer you at the door. Seriously.

PS I have a huge crush on the Cue Card Girl.

PPS Here’s Sal Masakela doing his best Johnny Utah.

Well, not actually *with* Sandor. We’re talking about sex with one of the world’s leading gurus on the subject. These are two fantastic shows as we cover how little men know about sex (duh) as well as some common misperceptions around the whole “in-out-in-out”. For instance, did you know that the conventional “romantic” notion of what most people think a relationship should be is actually killing the passion?

We also consider: Are millions of men really struggling from erectile dysfunction or are they just not aroused by their partner? And, is sexual tension a gift to be harnessed or are you just a victim of “blue balls”?

Listen via the widget in the left sidebar or get Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Rob McNamara finishes up his discussion on strength conditioning, fitness and how it affects every aspect of our life -- not just our waistband. Listen to this week’s episode where he lays out some structure for being the best man you can be. It’s less time than you think.

Listen by clicking the episode in the widget in the sidebar (left side of this page) or by clicking here.

Maybe this has happened to you.

You’ve gone from seemingly blue skies and red roses in your life to suddenly finding yourself in a malaise. You’re beat. You’re uninspired. Things that once gave you hope and inspiration now feel flat. What the hell? I’ve experienced this personally and it is scary as hell.

This week, Shawn Phillips and I discuss “hitting the wall” and what you can do to begin picking yourself up again. Listen to it in the widget (left-hand sidebar) or by clicking here.

According to my man, Casey Capshaw (producer of The New Man), our favorite podcast went to #3 in the Self Help category and reached #11 in the Health category on iTunes last week. Thanks for your support! If you want to help us out even more, go to our page in the iTunes Podcast area and write a review.

Speaking of magical...

Maybe it was the French talking shit -- I don’t know. But holy cow was this race unbelievable. Read the story and hope to god NBC keeps playing it over and over again. I’m inspired, and I have seen the impossible happen. Big, deep bow to Jason Lezak, Michael Phelps and the rest of the US team.

"Why?" she asked. Again. For the 437th time that day.

She is the gorgeous and delightful and very "three and a half years old" daughter of my good buddy and I'm helping look after her for four days. No women around. Two dudes and a little girl. My world was challenged.

"Why?" she asked again and again. So many questions in this little person's head. Apparently at this age, a child's mind is "limited" to a very magical way of viewing the world. And as we walked around, I tried my best to explain things to her -- for instance, why The Joker wasn't going to get her at bedtime. I realized what an amazing world she lived in. I got to experience magical things with her whereas before I "already knew that" or "that's nothing" dismissals played themselves over and over in my head.

With her, I got to experience what the Buddhists call "Beginner's Mind". And I realized this is where so much awe and inspiration comes from -- at least for me. I also appreciated her genuine curiousity, something that as I've gotten older I've begun to lose, based on the unconscious belief that I've already figured it out.

"Move along. There's nothing to see here."

I was reminded of my relationship to music and how, after years of trying to make it big in the big leagues I became super jaded. I got to see behind the curtain, and the wizard wasn't all that. I got to make records in the rooms where my favorite records were made. And it got kinda old.

The magic was gone. I forgot how to be a fan. And that's some scary shit for a guy like me who is, well, a huge fan of music.

When I began a meditation practice quite a few years ago (still not enlightened -- must be doing something wrong), I believe I was on a quest to have my awareness "cut through" the illusions. Illusions such as my identity and the roots of suffering. I was on a quest which brought great things but it also cost me my ability to embrace "magic." I sobered up in many ways and lost something else in the process.

I could go into "why" that is, but that's just it. In my endeavor to explain everything I lost my ability to just experience everything. And stop. And wonder. There's something valuable in leaving a bit to chance, mystery or whatever. Perhaps "It" doesn't have to bathe naked in the brutal light of transparency. Not all of "It" anyway.

I've been reading Mating in Captivity, a book about eroticism and relationships. It investigates the notion that relationships and their increasing transparency and intimacy are actually killing attraction between mates. The point? Leave something to be sought after, to be yearned for, to be discovered in yourself as a lover. When you're finishing each other's sentences it may mean that you've quit being curious about one another. You've got them all figured out.

And that's pretty boring.

So I'm reclaiming my love affair with The Mystery -- in all forms. I'm reclaiming my innate ability to be a big fan of music even though I'm aware of the smoke and mirrors. I want to be the musician that is still a fan of music, the magician* who allows himself to be surprised and the lover that has so much left to be discovered. There's a place for magic and mystery** in my life. I don't ever want to lose that curiousity or the lust for something magical.

And I hope that some of those “whys” never get answered for that little girl either.


* Not to be confused with this guy.
** Not to be confused with this guy.

For those of you who are web-savvy, you can now host The New Man Podcast directly on your blog, website or Facebook page with this badass widget. Create your own by clicking the “Get!” button on the player to the left or by clicking here. You can customize the size and color, too. So cool.

Two Pieces of Cool News Today:

First, The New Man Podcast is featured on the main podcast page of iTunes today.

Second, There’s a killer new episode with Shawn Phillips, author of Strength for Life about how striving to merely be “healthy” is actually killing you. Seriously. Check out Part 1 here.

I was expecting this to come up and want to address it. In the latest issue of What is Enlightenment Magazine the following was printed:

WIE: Do you think that the men’s movement of the nineties with Robert Bly and Sam Keen is comparable to the men’s movement today?

LANIER: We’re not into beating drums out in the woods. That’s not what is going to speak to our generation. So what will speak to them? Well, that’s an open question and it’s the ongoing inspiration for our work—where are men now, and where do we want to go?

And then I started getting emails like this (this one is actually nice):

“...the 90's men’s movement ala Bly was more than just beating drums in the woods.  Did you read Iron John?  He picked up on men internalizing feminism and the damages incurred from that almost 20 years ago...”

He’s spot on.

Truth: I’ve read Iron John. Quite a few times actually and it has served me well. I’ve purchased it for quite a few men in my life, too. I find it to be essential. Sam Keen’s work and Robert Bly’s contributions to The Mythopoetic Movement are key to where we are today and if you don’t believe me, check out all of the Star Wars DVDs you own. Translating myths (and Joseph Campbell’s influence on George Lucas) gave our generation a tremendous gift. I trust that it continues to influence men of power and reach, and we’ve been positively impacted because of it. Point being, there’s something truly valuable about this work and I don’t dismiss it.

However.

I don’t believe that a majority of the men out there are ready or even willing to dive in with Iron John. It just doesn’t meet them where they are in their lives. It doesn’t speak their language or resonate with their world on an immediate level. Does that mean it is invalid? No.

I believe there’s a need to translate this material so that the “mainstream male” can more easily accept it. I’m most passionate about this aspect of the work and believe my mission resides here. I believe there’s already a wealth of wisdom and information to help our world, but the challenge is in translating it into a language and vibe that resonates with the greater population.

Otherwise, more great wisdom and knowledge will just sit on the shelves of so many bookstores without finding a home in our souls and lives. My desire is to challenge men where they are RIGHT NOW and show them there is more to this life than what they’re currently settling for. From there the door is wide open to explore Bly, Keen, Deida or whoever.

(Tongue planted firmly in cheek now) As for drum circles. I won’t lie. I don’t really dig ‘em. I’ve spent a long time playing music professionally and just don’t have the desire to hear what sounds to me like a pair of boots in the dryer. What about melodies? Harmony? Let’s develop the drum circle into a -- band!

Evolve!!!!

Here’s to stirring up the pot.